My Computer Has Failed Me

I cannot get the mouse to stop clicking on everything it hovers over so I can't really bring myself to updating this because it'll inevitably want to click on a million things as I type this. It was a boring day off watching stand up and of course I'm happy about this but my father thinks that washing his truck and making his bed will make him feel useful and make me useless so I'll just keep doing that for now.

Saturdaze

It was a pretty good day. Somehow I managed to spend like 60 dollars on gas, food and DVDs today but it was worth it. I'm pretty exhausted and dreading my father getting home so I can listen to everything that I didn't have to listen to last night. I went to sleep right before he got home last night and he storms in my room and at the top of his lungs says "are you asleep?" so of course the answer was "no, not anymore." I woke up and listened to his shit for like ten minutes and gave him simple answers before he got pissed off and closed my door after I fell asleep on him. I finally got to see miss Anna after over a year of not seeing her and saw Patrick for a short time as well. The Melbourne mall sucks as well I've learned. Really I guess all malls suck for me however large they are because really nothing there appeals to me. I think I'm going to do my daily crossword yet again as my excuse to not write in this before cleaning.

2700 More Fridays Until Retirement

Wow what a depressing way to look at things I suppose. Work was pretty good today and I stayed busy enough but I already dread waking up for work tomorrow. I went to my buddy Bill's house to bullshit about stuff and had some beer with him and his brother who was down from New York. I also just did my taxes half drunk and I am getting money back for the first time in my life. I actually pretty much sobered up after that and now I'm just bored. I wish I had someone to go out to dinner with but I'm just a slacker. I'm going to sit here and do my crossword now.

Obligatory Update

I'm sitting here scratching my head trying to get the pieces of rust out of my hair from the transmission that I changed today at work and how nasty it was. I just bought my Megadeth tickets for my now annual trek to Atlanta and I am stoked. I have to do taxes for my father now though which shall be all kinds of fun. It kills me that he gets money back and I always owe taxes. Such is life.

Fuck Updating

I had a long busy day at work today and tomorrow morning I have to go in and yank a transmission out of an Aerostar van. I love my job and I love how it's taken my mind off of all of the immature, stupid people in my life. It's not one person, it's many of them. It's people who don't realize how immature they are all the way to the grand scale of my father. Sooner or later I just hope people will grow the fuck up and learn that shit isn't cute anymore. I am starving and I am going to finish the last 60 pages of my book now. I think tomorrow or the next day I will write some more. I have been neglecting my writings, my guitar and my PS3 even since I went back to work. I feel like a lazy sack of shit.

This Feels Like A Chore

Alright, home from work again and I spent about 20 minutes in the shower today. I was absolutely filthy today. I got the new Tim Dorsey book today so I'm content for tonight and probably tomorrow night. I've decided that in March my father, Kathy, Rachel and myself are going to Megadeth/Testament/Exodus in Atlanta and it will rock pretty hard. That's pretty much all that's new and different in my life. I could go on about how I have burdens lifted off of my shoulders and stuff like that this week but I'm not that much of a cold-hearted dick.

Before I Forget

Today wasn't much to tell about. It was drama on the home front from completely out of nowhere and a slow, boring day at work. It's the first day I've done the clock watching. 2010 is off to a fairly good start though at least in terms of change. One of these days I'll figure out the happiness thing and stuff and I'll be set.

Not Much Of A Day Off

My one day a week off is going to be the longest day of my week apparently. I get to hear my father go on about all of the problems with women, what a bad person his boss is, the same stories about his truck, etc. It's quite a life I lead. I went to lunch with asshole today and sat next to an old Jewish couple that left a $1.81 tip on a $28.19 bill. And then they want to know why nobody likes them. I don't know if I mentioned it or not but my father had this imaginary girlfriend named Candice when I was in Gainesville last and she's apparently like 28 and ungodly hot and just wants to fuck him but he can't have anything to do with her because she listens to country music. I just laughed and listened to him for the longest time. So my father met my boss on Friday and found out that Lonnie has known her for years because he's friends with her boyfriends' family and he completely shut up about his lies of fucking her. It's the little things in life that make me smile like that. I hope that means I get to meet her soon since she's a customer there so I can be like 'Oh yeah, my father runs around town talking about what a great piece of ass you are." I'm bored and going to watch more football.

Oh The Peace

I'm sitting here in a pair of shorts and it's like 74 degrees outside with the windows open and enjoying nobody talking to me, the dogs sleeping, etc. Work was nice, I got paid today which was wonderful so I'm not as broke, and it was a really good week. I had a peaceful week that didn't involve me getting pissed off at anyone or anything so it was beautiful. It was hectic but worth it. My mom just sent me one of those forwarded emails about Obama not being American born and how he's hiding the truth. Think about this though, we are the enemy to all of these countries, so don't you think they'd just extort the money out of us anyhow? If he weren't American we would have known it by now. I hate all of this stupid shit going on because in no way does it affect the job that he's doing. So just stop it.

I Would Say TGIF

But now I work Saturdays. This is the first time I've worked Saturdays since early 2005 and it kind of sucks but my job is still cool I suppose. The 16 dollar insoles are still undecided if they actually work or not. I do know for a fact their massaging heel support doesn't massage half of shit but I don't feel quite as miserable as usual. Maybe it's because I was sitting down doing a timing belt on a Toyota on the ground most of the day. I did some side work to shut my father up as well after work and Lonnie was nice enough to let me use a lift so I didn't have to fuck with it tomorrow. I was listening to the radio in that car and it had some oldies station on and realized that I have found the perfect song to make a metal cover of just as Type O Negative did to 'Summer Breeze'. The original version of 'The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia' from 1973 is the perfect song to make uptempo and metal -- possibly death metal -- with the gothic lyrics involved here. Most people have probably only heard the country versions of the song as had I but the Vicki Lawrence song is fucking amazing. Here are the original lyrics to the song: http://www.leoslyrics.com/listlyrics.php?hid=nfYqkDn2VcE%3D and I might make that my project in 2010, who knows?

I Need New Knees

I'm home and sweating my ass off for no reason. Magni has pissed on the new furniture though so things aren't any different than any other day. My knees are screaming at me so I went and spent 16 dollars on Dr. Scholls big and tall men insoles tonight so I better fucking be jellin' or something tomorrow or else I'm going to slaughter babies and use their corpses to absorb the cushion of being fat.

Extremely Sore

Well day three of work is over. This week has felt like a recap of my job and that's all. I've gotten home around 6 each night and been thoroughly exhausted each night and in bed around midnight as well so that I could readjust to waking up early and all of that fun shit. I was worried that my 3 and 4 in the morning sleeping pattern would show itself for the first few weeks but somehow I picked up on my normal sleep right away. Of course it's weird to see how many of my friends don't get online until about 1 or 2 in the morning but it happens I suppose. I have the internet at work and I haven't had time to do shit yet but it does make the day go by pretty fast. My back and feet are sore as shit at the moment. I've gotta buy insoles for my work shoes soon but I'm pretty cheap about the things that I actually need in life. My fingertips have been too sore from the weird work I've done these first few days to play my guitar as well which also sucks fully. Oh well, time to enjoy the last few minutes of my peace until my father gets home.

Go Forth And Die

I am fucking exhausted. We were quite busy at work today and I got home at about 5:45 and was thrilled to get a shower and lay here doing nothing like I've been longing for all day. I like my job well enough though I'm just tired. Hopefully work will let me get less fat and it will be worth it. I know that I'll still be broke every week because that's a given with me. I've never made enough money to not need something and I don't know how much money it'd take to fix that but I guess it gives me a reason to keep waking up. I'm exhausted now.

I Have A Dream...

...But it involves me hitting the lottery and getting far far away from here. I actually had a good day and I feel like the worst part of the job is waking up for it. My boss pretty much just tells Dan and I what needs to be done for the day and lets us split it up between us as long as it gets done. I stayed busy all day and had quite a strange encounter at my old job. So I have a truck that I need to reprogram the engine controller on and it has to be taken to Dependable and thankfully Joe had already left for the day. I get there at 3 and their computers are broken and they can't do an update. So I worked on the computers until 4 and then did the update which took all of ten minutes and left by 4:15. I got the fax number and told them that I was going to fax them a bill tomorrow for one hour of my time fixing a computer and one hour of lost time for Lonnie. So they ended up waiving the 45 dollars that they were going to charge him and Rhett was shitting bricks that he had to tell Joe that I came in there and fixed the computer and got work done for free. It was a good first day and I didn't have time to sit around or anything.

End Of My Freedom

13 hours from now I'll be back at work. I've actually always prided myself in not being one of the lazy people in this world but after you have a few months loaded with concerts and working on your own schedule it is going to be a shock for me. I need the money and will be glad to be making it again. Today was pretty much a total waste. I woke up and ate and then took my morning shit and saw this really brutal looking spider staring at me. So ant spray didn't kill him and I decided I'd take the vacuum to him. I take a vacuum to the corner of the wall where it had been nesting and as soon as I turn it on it shuts off all of the lights in my bathroom and they will not turn back on. So now my bathroom is in the darkness until hopefully tomorrow and I can get it fixed. My father got pissed off that I was neglecting the vacuum because the belt also fried when I used it. We went to Walmart and he blew more money and we ate more food and here I am doing nothing again. Should be fun tomorrow.

Edit: This is the spider. Anyone know what it is?

It Burnsss

My eyes are burning and watering and Magni is in his cage sneezing. My father just got home to the smell of a shit ton of bleach and in a total bitch mood. I went in the spare bedroom and found out that most of the floor was covered in dried piss with his footprints throughout the piss. It was the only way to get rid of all of the piss and now he's in a bitchy mood over it. He can actually live in the smell of piss and be completely unfazed by it as he's done for the last few years. I'm pretty fed up with living here but I have nowhere else to go. I'm just sick of my life. And of course to boot everyone else still blames me for all of their problems. I'm out.

Is It Worth Typing This?

I'm watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back for the first time in a couple of years I think. I'm going to see if I can get my iPod to stop rebooting and skipping songs and then sit around and do nothing for a little while. I'm tired of hearing about everything on the news right now as well. This wasn't really much of an entry worth making. I need some new friends.

Death In Fire

So the title has nothing to do with the entry, it's just the song I'm listening to. Unless of course I'm contemplating my father and Magni dying in a fire. Today was a busy day. I got some more movies, some other personal shit, and I got my toolbox moved to the new job. I start Monday thankfully so I won't be as broke anymore. I put up more pictures in my room and another frame of tickets and now I'm pretty much out of room which is amazing. I am exhausted mentally and physically today and I just want to sleep. At least I'm not pretending to like the Haitians like everyone else. I love how America feels obligated to one up these other countries in terms of aid and donations yet they don't send us shit when we have a catastrophe. Let them fend for themselves, we'll always be the enemy anyways.

Rise And Shine

It's 10 and I feel absolutely amazing. I got 12 hours of sleep so good that I never even rolled over except for the one time I stood up to piss. If sleep deprivation has its perks, the makeup sleep is it. I got to West Palm Beach around 7:30 yesterday and we went down to Key Largo which is really more or less a dump turned into a tourist hot spot for the glass bottom boat thing because my mom had to check it out. I was up for it since I love the serenity that I get on a boat and I dig fish too, I just always want to eat them. We get there at 10:30 being told we have to check in by 11 and the boat is at 12:15. So we get there and they tell us check in is 12:30 and the boat takes off at 1. We sit in Keith's truck and eat lunch and the Captain pulls up in a 15 year old Dakota and he looks drunk off his ass and a lot like a pedophile. So I thought it'd be funny to go dig up the banjo duel from Deliverance on youtube and play it on my phone as we walked in. Mom and Keith weren't too thrilled about it but it was funny. Then we get there and there is a woman there with the EXACT voice of Kathy Bates from Misery and my skin started to crawl. We end up being the only three people on the boat with our tour guide I guess you'd call him who was some dorky looking kid who looked like he was the hottest nerd at his school about a year older than me. I didn't say shit the entire boat ride out because I was too busy enjoying the silence and then I made a couple of racist remarks here and there to lighten the mood as if somebody died. Then the dude looked at my A Perfect Circle hat and decided he'd try to make conversation. I learned he grew up with the 10 Years guys and was in a band with one of the Norma Jean guys and had been to a few of the same shows that I had been to. So we talked about music and guitars for the 45 minute ride back which was really surprisingly cool. It's just been really awkward and shit here again anyhow. I never know what to say or what to do so I've just kept my mouth shut. I'm going to go be productive now.

No Sleep 'TIl I Dunno When

I just got home from Behemoth. It was a wonderful show and the band was way to sweet to begin to elaborate. I have to get ready to go to Key Largo in 2 and a half hours and I am out of clothes. So I am waiting for my laundry right now to put it in the dryer so I have underwear before I leave. I am fucking exhausted and sick still but it was so worth it. I will update more when I have time.

Another Long Day Ahead

Behemoth is tonight which will be a great show. The part that won't be great is how my father will pretend to be the best friends of a band he's seen once and never met before. He will also inevitably not shut up about his iPod dock or anything else so it's going to make for a long day on top of his driving two over the speed limit habit. Being sick is not going to make me any happier. It's going to be cold as fuck in Saint Petersburg tomorrow as well so I'll probably dress like Rob Halford in the leather pants and the leather jacket and be glad that I'm not seeing this show at the Ritz in Tampa.

This Is My Father

I tried to hide in my room for as long as I possibly could today to be away from him and it didn't work. He texted me this morning to see if I was awake because he just absolutely had to have an iPod dock for his new found love of music so he has music in his room. Of course he's listening to Shinedown again because it's one of the only bands that he knows. We go to Target and none of the iPod docks are plugged in so you can't hear any of them. He goes to some black guy and asks him to turn them on while he's ringing up people and the guy says to see his manager. I automatically walk off because I know it's going to be embarrassing. He starts screaming at this guy about what a nigger he is and how lazy he is and how he is what is wrong with America. And he's looking all around for me shouting "isn't that right son?" so I tried explaining his errors in his ways and he got terribly pissed off at me as if I ran off from a fight and didn't defend his honor. I wanted to spit in his face. So we went to Best Buy and their things didn't work either so he went to the Bose outlet west of town. He swore to me they had their docks refurbished for $150 and his boss owned two of them. They only had the new ones for $300 and not to be outdone by his boss he absolutely HAD to have one. All I've heard about since then is how you pay for what you get and you get what you pay for. I am so fucking sick of this penis showing contest he calls his life. He feels like there isn't a nicer television, car, iPod or anything else than the one that he owns. I showed him that I have a set of five dollar speakers that work just fine for me but that is 'jigwood'. I just shake my head in frustration. Next time he turns up his new Bose dock with his amazing sound I am plugging my iPod into my guitar amp and turning it up. He doesn't know what loud sounds like yet.

Just Fucking Stop It!

So I've done my best to hold my tongue here but I have fucking had enough of the Obama bashing on sites like facebook that have no impact on the world. Lots of people are guilty of it down to my mom as if their voice is actually meaningful. How fucking ignorant do you have to be to think that the world is going downhill because he has been in office for this past year? I think a great majority of everyday people who pay no attention to politics just think bashing him is the easiest thing to do as we rightfully did with Bush. That's how people choose to be involved in politics in the 21st century. Maybe racism is still much more intact than anybody wants to admit if they hate a black President and question his abilities because of his color and they will still discriminate against gays as lesser people for the sake of arguing. Fifty or sixty years ago when a high standing member of society thought his town went to shit he didn't blog about it, he ran for mayor. Now we go off of second hand information trickled down from the blogs of other people as a reason to make a stupid fucking survey question that makes you sound even more ignorant than you really are. Do people even read into his agendas or do they just see that they don't like what he's doing because their family already has health care or they don't have a family member who relies on the automobile industry or banks to survive?

First of all, national health care has been an American dream for many years now and when there is a President that finally wants to tackle it he's now an asshole. I really liked Clinton and the peace that he kept as President, however he regressed in the fight for universal health care. Of course all know that Bush avoided it entirely so he could wage a war on oil so it wasn't even an issue. Do I like the idea of universal health care? Fuck yes I do. Do I like his plan? No, not particularly. But wouldn't his idea be better than nothing at all? I'd like to think so, but apparently not, because assholes like Wolf Blitzer, Larry King, and Glenn Beck all have enough zeros on the end of their paychecks to not worry about their health. I'd like to think that the poor people who wish they could see a doctor once or twice a year would outnumber the greedy celebrity fucks that can bash the President on television because his plan doesn't cater to them. I would like to see Glenn Beck tell a cancer patient that can no longer legally be refused health care after this bill passes to tell him or her to their face that it was a terrible idea. Not to mention how he will go down as the worst President in history for it. I've read comments from doctors and their families talking about how this bill will ruin them. They couldn't be any further from wrong, however they'd have to work for a living. Instead of raping HMO's for 1000% markup on anesthetics and treatments like they have for decades they would instead have a cap on these things, but they also gain what is it 72 MILLION new patients for their troubles.

Next is the bailout dilemma for the banks and automobile industries. Do I feel like it was right? No. Was it needed? Yes. The Bush administration has even went as far as admitting that they knew it was inevitable with the automobile industry but they didn't want to be the ones held responsible for doing it. It's pretty much like faithfully paying your rent for 8 years and then moving out but stopping to fix your hot water heater first, it'd be pointless. The bank crisis could have been adverted entirely if laws were put in place a decade ago now to keep banks from hoarding money and refusing to lend it, but closed minded assholes feel like the banks went from healthy to life support in the first 90 days of the Obama administration. Without bailing out the banks and the automobile industry the backbone of America would be left to rely on commodities like Google and Windows that don't have the 200 year staying power like General Motors or Wells Fargo do. But people who don't research these things think the money is somehow being taken out of their pockets and would rather see the unemployment rate at 25% and the housing market in a depression than worry about where their money that they are ENTITLED to for being an American in the future is. By the time I am 68 or 70 or whenever I am eligible for retirement I can safely say that there will be five more Presidents who will alter all of these laws and nothing in fact will change.

Just yesterday, democrat turned republican, Rudy Giuliani who was the mayor of New York City on 9/11 claimed that there were no terrorist attacks on America during Bush's time in office. Are you fucking serious? The republicans are having too much fun because the same exact government agencies that have been in place since the Bush administration missed key information on a failed terrorist attack under a democrat. I'm not going to sit and tell you if Bush or Obama is a better President either because that isn't why I wrote this. Obviously if your son or daughter is in a body bag in Iraq right now, if you're one of the 10% of the country who has been unemployed, or if you are a same sex couple, I have a feeling you didn't like Bush. If you reaped the benefits of a thriving oil business or got wealthier during the Bush administration on shady business practices, I see why you hate Obama. If you are a college kid who has no worries in life beyond smoking pot, you just need to keep your mouth shut about politics because it only makes you sound like an uneducated bigot. I feel like Obama is actually making a change in the country and even if it's not best right now, in the future it will be. Did anyone else see Obama elect the first transgendered cabinet member this past week? No, nobody did. It didn't even make the news outside of a footnote on CNN. Will that ever be discussed as a stride towards equality in America? Never. We'd rather talk about what could have happened with the underwear bomber three weeks after the fact. More people die every single day for no justifiable reason overseas than that airplane can hold and they refuse to mention that. My grudge isn't even with the people bringing the news to us and how biased they are because that will never change for as long as we are alive. My grudge is with the people who won't even acknowledge one side of the story much less both sides. The internet has bred a bunch of people who think three minutes of reading headlines a day makes them both political and analytical yet they still don't have the desire to go out and vote or go to their town meetings and attempt to change things. So to all of you 21st century hippies that feel like 1 million followers in a facebook group will change things: Fuck you.

Sick of Your Shit

Nobody ever wants to hear me bitch and moan which is why I have this and livejournal and stuff yet I meet people who only want to complain to me and then when I need to bitch could give a Goddamn. I hear about the most trivial shit usually involving multiple guys liking them or their own laziness as a problem. These people wouldn't know conflict if it bit them in the ass. I'm frustrated to say the least. I just don't give a fuck but I'm too good of a friend to say anything because maybe one day they'll have something valid to bitch about. Whatever.

This Looks Like A Good Time

I'm sitting here pissing away the last twenty minutes until the 8 o'clock deadline here I decide that I need to clean the house for the day. I've had side work the past two days and both were nonsense but it was an easy $35. My mom is down in West Palm Beach for the week so I'm going to have to go see her on Saturday or something. After Behemoth on Monday I should probably go back to work. Everything else in life has failed me so money would be good at least I assume. Money does make me a happier person. I do hate that feeling of knowing how I make all of that money just to piss it away on bills. It's life I know but fuck it sucks. I wish my student loan were paid off, that's hands down the most stressful one because I feel like I actually get nothing out of it. I don't mind my car insurance, my phone, my cable, etc. because at least I use it. My education was a total fucking waste and I have a decade of debt to them. Oh well.

Lifeless Life

This becomes an actual chore updating this when I don't feel like bitching about things in my life and when I have nothing to ramble about. It's been a boring week really aside from all of the nonsense drama going on in my life. I made twenty bucks working on a 90 year old's car today which was nice since it almost paid for the 16 I spent in gas and 10 I spent on food and toothpaste. The only thing that really pissed me off lately was a cop yesterday with too much power and free time. So I went and paid the electric bill which is right across the street from the police station and pulled out onto the road behind a Land Rover. I was doing my usual 35 mph since I'm not stupid enough to speed there and was about three car lengths behind the Land Rover. There was a police Suburban at the upcoming intersection just sitting there but I didn't think anything of it. The Land Rover makes it to the stop light and the light goes from green to red in literally about two seconds. The yellow light only flashed for a split second and he goes through and I am left locking up my brakes to stay out of the crosswalk and oncoming traffic. The cop sees me come to a stop and drives through the intersection and just as soon as he makes it through the light turns green again. It was no accident obviously even though he would have let one happen just to ticket me for running a red light or something I'm sure. So that's all for now. I was pretty pissed and forgot to mention it yesterday because I was too engulfed in shooting things.

How Long Until I Reuse A Title?

Today is a day that feels just like yesterday. I've done nothing for days on end and I feel like an epic piece of shit for it. All is still fucked along the home front and I'm quite depressed about it. I've stopped talking to a couple of people and deleted them from my interwebs because I can only listen to their problems but they can't listen to mine. I ask people to spend time with me and they make promises that they can't keep and at the end of the day I'm still alone. Everyone just feels like I'm complaining for the sake of complaining but again it's one of those things people just don't understand. I'm tired of feeling this way.

Life Is Not Worth Waiting For

I stayed busy today for once. I saw the sausage burritos are $1 at McDonalds again and I had to have some even though I felt terrible. I got up at 9:45 after going to sleep at 4:30 or so making for another long night of sleep. I went to Best Buy and returned a PS3 controller and came home and laid in bed because my father had to watch 'Marley & Me'. Dan showed up at lunch for an hour so my father could talk his ear off about all kinds of nonsense like always and then asshole's iPod showed up as did his FM transmitter and my amplifier parts finally. So I took his truck all apart and installed an auxillary cigarette lighter thing and his iPod and an FM transmitter and then the transmitter sounded like shit so he's in a super bitch mood about how nothing can ever go right with his stuff. It's pretty fucking annoying I must say. So I took about an hour and changed the two potentiometers and two audio jacks on my amplifier and put it back together and it sounds amazing like it's supposed to finally. So here I am bored and lazy now that everything is done and my father has stopped asking me a million questions about his iPod. I'm just fed up with everything right now.

I Have Never Felt Less Alive

Everything around me is falling to shit right now. I can't even hold down food because I'm far too fucked up in the head. I don't know where my life is going or what I want from it anymore. I just want to die mostly. I have never felt any less inspired to update this.

I Just Updated This

Three hours ago now I guess it is. Sevendust is tonight. I should be looking forward to it a whole lot more than I actually am. I've seen them so much lately and I'm so burned out on driving I've actually been enjoying this little bit of peace and quiet lately. I'm about to get back into the whole job thing soon so concerts will be few and far between like they used to be and I should probably value them a whole lot more than I do. I'm not worried about it though, I'll figure it all out. My life is spiraling out of control anyhow and concerts are the last thing I need to worry about. So bring it on January.

Almost Forgot To Update This

Damn, not the way to start off the year with this thing. It's 11 and I just now remembered it. I've got way too much on my mind and I have been completely and entirely useless today. I have watched two football games, a basketball game and Inglorious Basterds. That movie was a whole lot of hype to be 2 hours worth of dialogue and not that much excitement or anything. You let me down this time Tarantino. I'm glad it's 2010 so I don't have to hear about 2009 anymore but that's about it. I'm ready for a vacation.