Here We Go!

Alright, it's time for a proper update of this shit! I'm feeling pretty good about life right now after everything retarded lately. I briefly touched on my apartment getting robbed last update but I figure now I'll go into details somewhat. So apparently last Friday somebody came into my apartment between the time Victoria left my apartment to go to lunch with Dan and I and when I got home from work and took a pillowcase off of the spare bed and stole my Playstation 3 and my camera. They didn't touch any of my music stuff thankfully or even my DVD's and games. Actually I think one or two DVD's are missing because the shelf was packed tight and no longer is. But I can't even figure out what movies are missing so it doesn't really bother me that much. Whoever got in had a key or an excellent lock picking set. The only people who have ever had keys to this place are myself, Lexy, Victoria, the landlord and the maintenance guy. But I'm done losing sleep over it. I was pretty upset about it when I figured it out because it felt more like an invasion of privacy than anything else. Sure I miss the PS3 and especially the camera for concerts but it wasn't things with sentimental value that is hard to replace.

Next on the list is that I'm around 215 pounds now. That's pretty monumental for me even though I really wish that I could start eating better again. I've been having people like my boss buy me food a lot lately so it's pretty hard to say no to. Also this brutal heat where the heat index is still 95 at 10 pm kills my jogging the bridge ideas. But if I can stay around 210-220 for another month when the temperatures at night start to come back down I'll be under 200 for Christmas with no problem. I never realized how easy it is for me to lose weight before, although I should have tried sooner. All that I have to do is stay away from all you can eat buffets, Checkers and Sonny's and all is well. Even eating how I haven't wanted to I've either lost a pound or so every week or stayed the same.

I joined a co-ed softball team. I guess that's the next most important thing in my life. It's a 16 game schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm pretty fucking stoked for this. I haven't been in this good of shape playing sports before for one so it makes things better. My boss is sponsoring the team and both Chase and Dan are playing as well. We had our first practice yesterday and I more than impressed myself this time. I have always been one of those people that sells myself short so that I look impressive when I do something right. I call it the small penis concept. If you tell them it's 2 inches when you really have 6 then they're ecstatic. When you tell them you have 10 and have 6, you are just going to piss them off. So that's my mentality on test taking, sports, etc. is to sell myself short and set the bar low for myself in the eyes of others. I haven't played softball or baseball since I was 15 so I figured I'd be a bit rusty. It took me about three swings to get timing back, but I still have incredible bat speed especially now that I have some upper body muscle which I never had growing up. I have no problem getting a softball to deep center or right field now. I used to be a consistent bloop single hitter but I can finally hit for good power which makes me really excited for this season. I am on eastbay.com right now buying cleats because the biggest problem I had with my swing was that I spun myself into the ground with the momentum from my bat. If I can get that momentum to stay in my hips and arms when I make contact with the ball it's fucking on this year. I sound a little bit cocky right now I know. But the competitive dick comes out on me when I'm actually good at something and look forward to playing. I really regret giving up on sports when I was younger but North Carolina didn't offer anything in the way of organization outside of the school. And the only way I would have played on the teams there was if I could beat the piss out of everyone on the team first.

Lastly, I started writing music reviews and that kind of stuff on http://braingell.com It's an excellent internet radio station with music news and all on the site and figured that I could use my extra free time and share my thoughts with the world and hope that one day something might come of it. I really wish I could do something musical with my life instead of what I do now, so one can pray.

I guess I have finally learned that it's time to make myself happy and to stop worrying about other people. Most of the girls I meet are whores with agendas and lots of skeletons put simply and I'm tired of putting faith into them to make me happy because that's just silly. Kady is the only friend that I even have left out of my ex's because at least we're on the same wavelength as human beings unlike the fucktards I've dated other than her. So I guess that I need more time for me and self improvement and with that will come happiness in other ways.

I know this is the most 'personal' blog that I've posted on here before for which I apologize. I'm usually all serious business or serious racist prick on here but I figured a legitimate update on both here and livejournal is long long overdue. I feel like I've alienated too many people in 2010 which I feel like a dick for doing. So that's all for now.