I'm Not Sure If I'll Miss 2009 Yet...

So everyone bitched and moaned about what an awful this year was because a ton of celebrities that they had never met or odds of heard of until their death, died. I say kill more of them. If Dick Clark fell over dead tonight as we were counting backwards from ten I wouldn't be happier. The world losing twenty or thirty C-list celebrities and a few bombshells like Michael Jackson should be cause for celebration and not grief. The most typical response is "Oh, they have families too" but I say so does everyone else who dies all over the world every minute as well as those at war right now. At least the families of these shitty actors are left with money and not debt like most other people. 2010 will probably be more tragic than 2009 and everyone will want to forget it in 365 more days. My reasoning is that television took off in the 1950's and 60's and really started booming in the 70's so there are tons of actors from that era who are over 70 now that are waiting to die. Five or ten years ago there weren't as many old celebrities because nobody cared about WWII veterans or scientists dying. The 70's was when mainstream music took off and they're all reaching 60 now which is a moderate life expectancy after all of the chemicals they've ingested. Then the 80's was the climax of one hit wonder musicians until the present day bullshit that they slap on the radio making now the most overpopulated time for these people to die off until about 2035. That means these people are pushing 50 now and that's a long time for a drug addict or alcoholic to live. But with any luck in 2010 many more soulless individuals will die and the world will be spared of hurricanes, tornadoes and actual tragic events.

Not My Day

I feel like dog shit today. I've got way too much on my mind right now. My stomach is all knotted up since I've eaten and I feel repulsed by food and everything else right now. I was offered a job today but it's here in Vero Beach which defeats the purpose of moving. I'm just really really fed up and I need answers and money. I'm going to go and watch even more Kevin Smith for now.

Demon Tied To A Chair In My Brain

Today started off really promising and then fell to shit. I woke up at about 11:20 and Dan called and said Advance was buying Bono's for us so I went and ate lunch with him. I went to Best Buy and returned my broken PS3 controller in the packaging for the one that Dan bought even though his was blue and mine was black and they didn't notice. So I felt pretty good about my day. I felt like a pregnant woman and absolutely had to have a strawberry milkshake today so I stopped and got one and got Dan an unsweet tea and worked on his computer for a while. My father then called asking if I could put rear brakes on Danielle's truck right then and there. I was actually wearing a dress shirt too for once so I had to go home and change and pick up his truck and do that. So I finish that and go to return it and then my father calls asking what I'm doing. I tell him I'm returning it and then have to run back over to Dan's before 5. He then tells me Lyle's truck is broken down in the Publix parking lot with a bum starter. For a month he's been telling me that as soon as that starter goes bad he's not calling me to fix it and he's going to have to fend for himself. So we have a fight over it on the phone and he throws a temper tantrum and I tell him that I'll look at it. So I had to put out $106 for a starter and hope to get the money back for that too since I didn't get paid for either job of course. Lonnie let me use a lift at the shop so I didn't have to change the starter in the parking lot which was really nice of him and saved me some frustration. I got done with that and returned it so I could get no money for doing it or the part. I came home and talked to my mom who is throwing me dead in the middle of her leaving this fiancee of hers to go stay a week with her ex husband. I found out my father has been texting my sister after all and it's been a huge lie he's been telling me about how he can't be bothered with her. I'm not surprised or anything, I'm just fed up more than you know. I tweaked my back again today as well so I'm going to be a miserable fuck for a while.

For Once, Fuck Technology

Well my phone started going off at ten this morning so I was pretty much up early and then my father barged in at like 12:30 gloating about how his phone came. He asked me hours worth of questions about his new smartphone like how to use the keyboard and stuff. He has the sD card out of my phone right now because I was showing him how it will play music like mine will. Now he doesn't want to give it back on the basis that I want to get an iPhone. But whatever, I only paid twenty bucks for it and if it will shut him up so be it I figured. How wrong I was. Now he thinks his phone is his own personal jukebox and he blares the music that I already had on there out of his phone when he's in his room or on the toilet. I would be really upset except I never changed the music on it so it's only my favorite albums. And even worse is he thinks he's now an expert in all things Pantera. Why you may ask? Because they were featured in this month's Revolver. This is the same guy who asked me who I was listening to during the Far Beyond Driven album on the way home from Motorhead. But since they've been in Revolver he has worn their shirts two days in a row and that's all that he wants to listen to as well. It's pretty pathetic if I may say so myself. I really really need to get away for a while.

Steak Overload

I love red meat more than anyone possibly should but right now, holy fuck I'm actually tired of it. I had prime rib on Friday, Checkers on Saturday and leftover prime rib and filet mignon tonight. I want a nap and I need some gym equipment. However sad it is my eating habits have been good but I've eaten too much of it lately. I haven't been eating much sweets and real crap or even a lot of fast food yet I gain weight. If I eat fast food everyday I will stay exactly the same weight because I guess I just shit it all out. I'm just rambling right now. I'm done for now.

I Almost Forgot To Update This

Well today was a busy unaccomplishing day. I woke up at 9 and got a wah pedal for my guitar from some kid on craigslist. Works really cool and all of that jazz. Then I hit Dunkin Donuts and Walgreens to pick up some pictures and came home and did the shower thing. I went to Comcast looking for the new Motorola router which is pretty fucking ultimate and the lady was like 'if you want one of those you're gonna have to buy it yourself'. So I came home, hung up some pictures and then went to the music store to pick up some strings for the Dean and a patch cable so I didn't have 50 feet (literally) of guitar cord on my floor. I did that, came home and found the plug that lets me plug my iPod into my amplifier. It sounded pretty amazing except when I changed the volume. So I got daring and took the amp all apart and tested every potentiometer inside of it. I found one other bad one on top of the volume knob and set out to electronic stores and music stores for two pots. Of course I was unsuccessful at my attempts and gave up and went home. I then finished the new Call of Duty storyline because I felt like I had to and cleaned the floors. See what I'm saying about staying busy doing nothing yet? So that was about it. And on a stupid note today is the two year anniversary of Thor doing as well as hurting my back at work. It wasn't a day that I want to relive but I'll always remember it and stuff. Okay, that's enough rambling for now.

Piss On You All

This is that day along with my birthday that I'm always the most depressed about all year. I haven't looked forward to either of these days since I was young and my parents bought presents because they were obligated to or else they'd be bad parents in the never ending coolness competition that they had to endure. I remember one year when I was eight or nine my parents seemingly avoided the fact that it was my birthday. I went and hid in my closet that day. I'm not sure why I remember it so clearly still but I think since then holidays haven't been the same. I've gotten some cool shit here and there but overall it's been a major fuck. Since I was 12 I've been out with my father who puts buying pot ahead of groceries so there's no reason he should do anything for Christmas. He said he bought me the new Call of Duty so he can hold it over my head for the next six months. He bought his recliners and he's buying himself an iPod because he just has to have one now that I own one so he's doing pretty good financially. I wake up every Christmas to a phone full of text messages from people who won't take ten seconds out of their busy lives the other 364 days of the year to talk to me and then won't even answer when I return their message. I even have a few numbers that aren't even in my phone because I deleted them that long ago. Between the three messengers, myspace, vampirefreaks and facebook I'd say I have about 250 unique friends. I will hear from almost all of them via status update or IM over the next day to a week about how great their Christmas was based on the rewards that they reaped from others. I guess if somebody were giving me a new laptop and all of that fun stuff I'd be more joyful towards the whole thing but how shallow and meaningless this holiday really is at the core kills me. I don't want to keep rambling in fear of sounding like my sister who posted the most nonsensical fucking stupid blog ever yesterday on facebook about how Christmas hasn't been the same since my parents got divorced. Her Christmases have gotten better since then because she's now treated like an only child from my mom's side of the family. I haven't even heard from any of them since I was 13 much less expected them to buy me shit. But she's just that selfish and has no moral qualms about it. But I know that hundreds of millions of people who rightfully have no reason to be happy will be joyous today for the sake of getting shit they didn't even know that they needed until now and I wish you all the best, just please stop trying to force your happiness on me. And if you want to tell me everything that you got from your parents who supposedly don't love you, don't understand you, etc. you can at least try holding a normal conversation with me just this one time. Oh and my NEW laptop cord died to boot. That is all for now.

I Am Only Updating This Because I Am Required To

I'm not in the greatest of moods or anything today although playing a little bit of guitar seemed to make me feel a lot better. I think I've just been a little bit moody because of everybody in the world loving tomorrow except for me. You know that feeling you have on your face when you just got done crying? I have that feeling, but I wasn't crying and I can't explain it. Oh, I even ate chocolate. I would love to sleep tomorrow away. My father spent probably $30 on dinner for tomorrow so I will never be able to live that down obviously. It's just not going to be all too great.

Weird Day

I've been spending a lot of time at Dan's job without having a job myself lately. It's pretty fucking pathetic if you ask me. I've made $180 there on the side in the past few weeks fixing computers and stuff however today. Lonnie gave me $20 for helping out around the shop yesterday and helping Dan diagnose a Honda and he was just like "Merry Christmas you do a lot around here." I picked up lunch for Dan and I at Checkers and then installed a pretty cool stereo in Dan's truck as his girlfriend's Christmas present. It took me about three hours to make it look perfect and get all of the add-ons installed on it. My father will be raging when he gets home because my corporate letter bomb yielded immediate results with Comcast and his hand-written pathetic attempt at one failed miserably with Motorola. He writes these condescending letters in a really illegible slanted cursive as if he is their only customer and he has twenty of their products etc., and they always blow him off of course. This time Motorola sent him both phones that he mailed them back unfixed with a letter saying that they do stand behind their products for at least a year minimum however they aren't going to fix liquid and physical damage to the phones. The keypad on one of them is actually corroding now but he will claim it never got wet and they just didn't want to do anything for him. It will be followed by the inevitable "I'm never going to buy another fucking thing from Motorola!" of course just like he did with Samsung over them not replacing the TV he put a dog bone through.

On a shittier note I found out a former coworker of mine died and that really bums me out. He was a great guy. Right around my birthday I saw him at the ATM at Wachovia and he stopped to talk to me because he saw my article in the newspaper and asked if I was looking for work and I told him that I was. November 23rd he called me and left me a voicemail telling me he found me a job if I wanted to drive south. November 30th he never woke up in the morning. Mike was 66. He was a damned good guy that everyone who worked with him liked except for my asshole boss. Such is life.

One Handed Typing

Yeah, this will take a while. My left hand is being thoroughly molested by the cat. It's like he hasn't seen me in months. He insists that I rub the spot under his chin continuously. There is no saying no to him right now and I can't handle it. I have no regained access to my hand for a second as he sits here and stews about it. I have nothing really smart to say anyhow. Trying to find a job still and hoping everything doesn't fail me like it always inevitably does. I am also having to reevaluate a lot of things in life like who my real friends are. I've also had a constant twitch in my left eyelid since about Saturday. Shit sucks. Time to adore the cat more I guess.

Coming Undone

I've been sitting here all day and it's been pretty mind numbing. I've heard the same stories fifteen times about my father going to a party last night. I love how he goes out about twice a year and then it's the most important thing in the world. I am full of meatloaf and contemplating a peanut butter cookie that's how exciting my life is right now.

Take Me Away

I seemed to wake up frustrated today. I'm not sure why, I guess it's just too much of that personal drama shit in my life right now. I'm tired of being the opportune guy in everybody else's life. I don't even feel like updating this.

Lack of Seasons

I love how I opened this window about ten or twenty minutes ago and then kept getting sidetracked and wasn't able to begin writing my daily nonsense. It's 61 and sunny here while everybody that I know is snowed in and shit today. I'm glad the seasons don't change here when I can't celebrate Christmas. It used to be a big thing when I was young because kids are always supposed to get that but when I moved out with my father that all came to a halt. When I was 12 we started making it a tradition to spend Christmas at the laundromat because there would be absolutely nobody there that day except for us. One year when I was 13 I got a candy cane full of assorted sports cards from Walmart for ten dollars for Christmas and he went into full on martyr mode about how he bought me something and he got nothing. One year he bought me a bunch of NASCAR stuff of drivers like Jeff Gordon because it was basically for his collection that he called ours. Two years I got a few albums out of him which was nice but I always bought him shit in return. The only big Christmas we ever had was the year Patricia lived here and I bought him his shotgun and I got my guitar. Last year he bought me a video game and then spent six months asking me how I liked it everyday that I played it so that I wouldn't forget. I bought him his radar detector and a shirt but he still forgets about those things. This year I'm not buying shit because I'd rather burn my money than give it to an ungrateful fuck. He bought his recliners as my Christmas present just as his TV was my birthday present. I've resigned myself to the fact that he is so selfish that it pains me to be around him. I just want to sleep the next week of Christmas commercials and celebrations away.

It Must Be Christmas Time...

Because my dog is bleeding all over the floor. She always has it the week of Christmas like clockwork. It's too much for me to ask to have a little bit of piece and quiet. Instead I get to clean blood off of the floor and the furniture for the next two weeks and yell at the dogs for trying to fuck in the house unsuccessfully and knocking shit over instead. Of course my father will never have an animal spayed or neutered unless their lives depended on it because it gives him a dream that twice a year he's going to make these magical golden puppies that will make him insanely rich. I just don't care anymore. All of the computer work is done though and I made pretty good money this week on side work even though very little of it involved cars. I went to a luncheon for customers of Bennett Auto Supply with Dan today and got to see the shop bitch where I used to work so he could ask me questions hoping to relay them to my own boss. I just accused him of sucking dick for a solid hour so he'd shut up and had nothing to go by. I'm going to lay here with my cat some more I suppose.

From Red To Black

Well all things considered I'm not doing too badly. I feel like I've had more time to myself than usual lately and it's been fairly nice. It was a relief seeing Kady for a few days this week and then now that the Comcast thing is settled and I got a month for free it really helped my month out. I'm getting $100 for the two computers that I've been working on since yesterday even though I feel like how long it takes to get Windows updates working on a Netbook will be the death of me. I'm not rich by any means but I'm not worried about going hungry this week either which is a nice change. People owe me money but I don't count that towards the money that I have because it's never good to get my hopes up that people will pull through. I put a set of speakers in Patrick's truck tonight and I will say that I am insanely jealous because they are hands down the best sounding door speakers that I have ever heard. I wish I had an extra $200 sitting around just for those. One day though I suppose or at least keep telling myself. I'm going to sit here and stare at Windows messages and listen to Incubus for a few hours now. Later.

Dear Comcast, Dare I Say This: Thank You

So I didn't give a proper update yesterday to mention what was going on but everyone who talks to me knows that my internet has been cutting on and off for months now for absolutely no reason. I've been treated like a moron by most of them for months so I took matters into my own hands. Thanks to theconsumerist.com having a link to the head honcho of Comcast's email address, I emailed Mr. Brian Roberts himself yesterday. Now don't get me wrong, I had no intentions of getting a reply from one of the wealthiest men in the world but what could it hurt right? My father and other people went on about what a lost cause it was and if nothing else I let off some steam.

At about 10:30 this morning the doorbell rings and there are four Comcast trucks and about ten technicians at my house. They have been summoned to my address by the regional manager of South Florida to run a dedicated business line solely to my internet connection and put a separate wall outlet for just my modem in. It has been windy as hell today and it has yet to disconnect so I feel that they have finally nailed the problem. Thank you Mr. Roberts for pulling through and renewing at least some faith in your company. My download speed is around 16mbps and upload is around 2 mbps on speedtest.net right now as well. Below is the letter that I sent him yesterday.

Dear Mr. Roberts,

My father and I have been loyal customers of yours since 2004, (Account Number 01710XXXXXXXX) however I have been having issues with my service for the past 8-10 months constantly and I feel like your company no longer takes my complaints remotely seriously. I have contacted 1-800-COMCAST no less than 15 times over the past six months and very rarely do I receive any help. I am usually walked through the same exact steps every time which are completely irrelevant to the problem at hand. For months I was having a problem with losing my internet connection indefinitely until I called your support center and they "reset" my modem and magically cured things every time. I was told over and over that because I didn't lease a modem from Comcast that it was a problem on my end until a top notch technician came and found a corroded connection at the house and the problems were solved for about a month. We then began having intermittent issues with HD channels tiling and the internet dropping to a crawl before ultimately dying completely. This is when I began scheduling appointments with your technicians almost weekly. I am a Master Automotive Technician by trade so I understand better than almost anybody how tricky intermittent problems can be, however the charades that I have been put through over these problems have finally gotten the best of my father and I. We are tired of taking three hour windows off of work literally weekly now to open our house up to a technician who will be here for ten to thirty minutes and tell me nothing is wrong. I cannot use the online game play on my Playstation 3, I cannot stream or download files without it dying in the middle of the process and I cannot fix computers on the side from my house anymore unless I download the files that I need elsewhere. When the technician shows up at our house a couple of days later there is usually 'nothing wrong' with our service and they leave without doing anything. Some technicians will climb the pole or search in the house and say that they changed the same connectors over and over again and no resolution is ever made. One technician even went as far as saying that there was nothing wrong with my service because if there were my neighbors would all be complaining about theirs as well. About two weeks ago I was able to determine that aside from random outages with my internet, the internet always disconnects when a hard gust of wind blows. I called support and relayed this message to them and they sent a technician out to tell me that a squirrel had eaten its way through a line and if that didn't solve my problems to call back and schedule a ground technician to look at the local cable box and check some kind of terminals. Upon griping about my internet still going down even after it was just 'fixed' fifteen minutes ago on Twitter, I receive an unsolicited Tweet from a Comcast employee trying to pacify me with how 'these sorts of things happen all of the time.' I don't know the specifics of the diagnostic process obviously since I am not a cable technician, however I do know when the people just can't be bothered anymore. I have been nothing but courteous to all of your employees and generally your technicians have been courteous as well aside from some of your phone support treating me like I am a helpless seven year old with his first computer or something. I contacted support on Sunday evening to report yet another outage with my internet and a technician was scheduled between 2 and 5 today saying that there would be a phone call made before they arrived. I received a phone call yesterday evening from support telling me that if the last technician has already been here then there is no reason to send somebody else out to fix this problem and attempted to cancel my appointment for today. I insisted that a ground technician come and inspect the lines for problems and they kept the appointment for the same time. At 10 am this morning an indoor technician arrives unannounced and tells me that my modem is not registered to the system and that must be the problem. Mind you I have not had any problems with my modem not being registered for the past five years but now all of a sudden I do. So he blows me off by writing down the model number of my modem and leaving and the problems still persist. I have tried to make it as easy as possible for the phone support and technicians and they still listen to absolutely nothing that I say to them and want to tell me that I should just put a new modem in if the wind is knocking out my internet. I am on my last nerve with my service right now and I would have already disconnected my service if Verizon FIOS were available in Vero Beach, Florida. I pay $155.40 faithfully every month for cable and internet service that I am lucky works well a few days a month. I was once given an expired coupon for a free pay per view movie for all of my troubles with your service which was obviously more of an insult than anything else. If your technician shows up late I get a twenty dollar credit but if he comes early and avoids the problem at hand I get a "call us back next time that it's acting up." I feel as though I have exhausted every other option that I have with your service right now and I feel that I am pouring money down the drain and constantly wasting your employee's time and resources due to the collective apathy here. When your service works I enjoy it and I love the new HD lineup you have rolled out here but it seems like a lost cause when I am too busy fighting with technical support for a problem that they want to tell me doesn't exist. I hope to hear back from you regarding this matter. Thank you for your time, I know that you are a busy individual. Have a happy holidays.

Sincerely,

John & William Gehrig

(EDIT: I got a phone call at 4:45 tonight from the district manager who was just forwarded my email that I sent who told me to make it up to me all that I had to do was call him on Friday with a status update of my internet and he is paying next month's bill.)

My Top Ten Albums of 2009 (And My Top 5 Duds)

First I will start with my honorable mentions since it was so hard getting this down to a top 10 list:

20. KMFDM - Blitz
19. Swallow the Sun - New Moon
18. Municipal Waste - Massive Aggressive
17. Rammstein - Liebe ist fur Alle da
16. Clutch - Strange Cousins From the West
15. Devildriver - Pray for Villians
14. Sybreed - The Pulse of Awakening
13. The Killer and the Star - The Killer and the Star
12. Behemoth - Evangelion
11. Slayer - World Painted Blood

Now for the not so easy to decide Top 10:

10. Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures

This album has all of the funkiness of QOTSA with the groove of Zeppelin. It's full of win folks.

9. Shrinebuilder - Shrinebuilder

I think this is the best doom metal album I have ever heard. It's yet another 'supergroup' of musicians.

8. Devin Townsend - Addicted!

This is an album that I have nothing else even close to in my collection. Heavy metal pop basically describes it.

7. Alice In Chains - Black Gives Way To Blue

This is exactly the kind of comeback album that any of us could have hoped for. No pathetic attempt at replacing Layne but still an individual sound that is distinctly AIC.

6. Hurt - Goodbye To The Machine

This album has gotten extensive listening from me. It's one of those bands I have a weakness for obviously.

5. Megadeth - Endgame

A great return to form to the old style of Megadeth. We're still trying to get the taste of "The World Needs A Hero" out of our mouths. This helps.

4. Goatwhore - Carving Out The Eyes of God

They take all of the wonderful things in black metal and mix it with all of the wonderful things about thrash metal. The results are a great headbanging album.

3. Lamb of God - Wrath

This album pretty much has it all when perfecting the Lamb of God sound. Of course 'Reclamation' is the icing on the cake here. Fucking amazing.

2. Mastodon - Crack the Skye

Yeah, most people would want to know why this is #2 like it's some sort of sacrilege. It is that amazing, I do agree. It makes me feel like I should be doing drugs to fully appreciate it.

1. Chevelle - Sci-Fi Crimes

Yeah, I'll hear a lot of shit for this one. However there are very few albums that get stuck in your head that you just feel compelled to hear over and over again. This album has gotten stuck in my head since the first time that I listened to it. They win my vote this year.


Now I bring you the top 5 duds of 2009. I know there were a lot of horrible albums made this year, however these are albums that I actually was stupid enough to anticipate the release of:

5. Mudvayne - Mudvayne

I can officially say you pulled a Staind. You were 'going back to basics' and 'getting heavier' and you made an album that sounds way too much like B-sides from your last album. Yeah, I'll listen to it once in a while but it's just not the same as the Mudvayne we all learned to love.

4. Marilyn Manson - The High End of Low

Seriously dude, give it up while you still have the chance to be a notorious has-been. You are losing more credibility by putting out three horrible albums in a row than if you would have just faded into obscurity after Holy Wood. I know that you thought a single that involved a ton of swearing would be a chart topper like back in the old days but this is just watered down played out garbage you are making for the sake of being an 'artist'. I miss the 2001 Marilyn Manson as much as everyone to be honest.

3. Dead By Sunrise - Out of Ashes

This album pisses me off. I listened to it once and decided I had no reason to listen to it anymore. It's hard to get excited or even get your hopes up for a side project by somebody from Linkin Park. I believed the hype about how this band was heavier than Linkin Park and this was music that didn't fit into their catalogue. This was whiny borderline emo shit that doesn't fit into the catalogue of anyone over the age of 13.

2. Five Finger Death Punch - War Is the Answer

I think mute is actually the answer. Your cover of 'Bad Company' is the ONLY thing that gave this album redeeming qualities to me. I have absolutely no tolerance for lyrics from the standpoint and education of a third grade bully. I tried really hard to like it too because the first album wasn't bad sans the cheesy as fuck lyrics then too.

1. Otep - Smash the Control Machine

This album makes me want to smash the heads of small children. I used to hate the whining interludes on the old albums, but the almost rap songs and poorly written music on this album makes me miss those days. At least a few good songs were stuck in between that shit back then.

I Should Update This

I am just sitting here listening to football trying to stay occupied and stuff. I ate Chili's earlier which was pretty delicious and went to the beach with miss Kady. Other than that it's been a pretty good day and I got to sleep a lot. Life could be worse today. That means tomorrow will suck right?

Fucking Florida

Cold was good last night, I was happy to get out of the house and get some Mongolian Grille. The drive was as eyebleeding as ever although I'm getting pretty used to it. We got to bed around 5:30 and asshole woke me up at 11. It was justified though because holy shit we finally got rid of that nasty ass couch and he bought two recliners. The house smells immensely better and actually smells like a house. I washed Reaper today which was pretty funny. He just laid there and took it and meowed a lot. He's too sweet for his own good. Kady is sleeping right now as my father is at his bosses Christmas party. So I'm getting a little bit of peace and quiet I guess. I can't sleep and the dogs are sleeping. It's also 85 here for the next three days so the air conditioning is on in mid-December. Fuck it.

Sleep, It Does The Body Good

Well it's almost 1 in the afternoon and Kady and I are almost to the functioning thing in life so that we can go to the other coast to see Cold. I'm sure Cynthia won't answer her phone again so it'll just be us. My father is still a fucking prick of course and I wish shit would go as planned once in a while. But off to my morning poop.

Tonight Will Be A Blast

It's 9 pm and there is between 15 minutes and 2 hours left of my sanity. My father will inevitably come home super pissed off that Kady is here and just be a total asshole about things. I worked on her car and walked the dogs this evening and then the magic cleaning fairy came as a tag duo tonight so that when he gets home you'd think he'd have nothing to bitch about. He called earlier having me buy dog food, cat food and cat litter for $65 and then we get to go shopping and blow more money on shit that we don't need later. He has absolutely no bills to pay this week so he will piss away his entire check on drugs and nonsense and then belittle me some more for not having a job or money to throw away. I am so sick of this predictable horse shit.

Sick & Tired

So if I didn't mention it yesterday, Magni had a piss-a-thon in the house yesterday when I woke up. I got up at 12:30 which is half an hour after my father left for work and had to mop half of the floor. So when he got home I addressed it to him and he started a bitchfest that he only pisses in the house because I sleep too late. Seriously? I sleep too long and it makes the dog piss himself? What about the days that I'm not home is it because I'm not there? So he keeps reiterating his point about me sleeping too late and his dog will stop pissing if I tend to him. Asshole starts up with how he feeds them and lets them out every morning and I don't. Yet every night he watches shitty television and will not stand up to take the dogs out and it is my job and I don't say anything to him about it. He's two fucking years old he should know how to go to the bathroom outside and I was literally yelling last night at him that his point was irrelevant. So later he finally comes out with "I guess Magni will go in his cage when I leave for work." I went to Checker's for lunch yesterday and had $44 in my wallet which wasn't enough to pay for lunch without breaking a 20 so I just put it on my debit card and life goes on. So I go to the music store with Cynthia today to pick up some strings and there's only $40 in my wallet. The only time I left sight of my room last night was to let the dogs out so now I'm really wondering does he actually have the nerve to come in while I'm outside and go through my wallet? The answer is obviously yes. I've racked my brain to figure out if it could have went anywhere else but I've went nowhere in between yesterday and now. How petty do you have to be to take four dollars? He could have asked and I would have lent him whatever I had just to shut him up but I guess it's easier to just steal the money so he doesn't have to repay it. He hasn't done this to me in years. He used to steal money from me when Patricia was living with me and as soon as I mentioned it he'd blame her. When I delivered pizza and he had no job I'd come home with a bunch of ones from tips and he'd steal from me then and give me the money right back to buy him cigarettes. I'd ask him where he got the money and he'd say he was saving it up. When you don't have a job you don't just find dollar bills every week to buy cigarettes. I cannot fucking wait to get out of here.

Where's Batman When You Need Him?

I've been sitting here rotting away for hours today. I woke up around 1 even though I was hoping to get up early and get rid of the smelly couch but supposedly they never returned my fathers call. I think he likes that couch too much honestly. Magni is on another pissing spree and I beat the living piss out of him for it today. I'm getting a whole lot of peace and quiet out of it though. I'm still trying to get used to the new Mudvayne album as well. I hate when bands like them and Staind get all high and mighty with 'we're going back to our roots and making heavy music again' and it's their softest album yet. I'm just counting down the days until Opeth in New York City. I'm hoping some of my friends will make the trek but I'm not getting my hopes up. Of course my father doesn't know I'm going either and I'm keeping it that way.

I Am That Lazy

I woke up once to claim my unemployment this morning, went back to sleep, Dan called and I went back to sleep and woke up at 11:52 to go to lunch with him at noon. I was a pretty stinky bitch but sleep felt amazing for some reason. We ate and I made forty bucks setting up a new wireless setup at Dan's job for his boss. I came home and promptly went back to sleep. I'm finally awake now but I'm not sure if it's just a wave of depression coming over me or I have absolutely no motivation in life at the moment. I don't care either way right now. I just want a job and want to move out of here. I've been looking but it's been pointless. Oh well, time to eat leftovers.

Embarrassing

It was a very long day. Let me start off by saying that I fucking hate you Shaun Suisham. I hope you commit suicide this week. We left for Sevendust in Jacksonville around 12:30. My father is too proud to let me drive and he did about 3-5 mph over the speed limit at best both ways and whenever his radar went off 3-5 under for 20 minutes. It took us 3 and a half hours each way to get there. We stopped at a gas station and I picked up some hot dogs in Jacksonville so I didn't have to eat there and he got Bugles. We got to the venue and ran into Metal Mike & Lajon almost instantly. My father started right into his annoyingness and started asking everybody to get Morgan off of the bus even though he was sleeping. So my father decided we had to go eat dinner even though I wasn't remotely hungry so I sat in an Italian restaurant and watched him eat. He was throwing a temper tantrum pretty much all night long that Morgan wouldn't answer his constant calls or texts and was butthurt when Lajon went on about what a sweetheart Kady was. So we got back from eating and sat in his car for half an hour listening to Opeth as he bitched and moaned about the band. We got back and met a guy who was in a band with Lajon's father and was his music teacher since he was 6. He was a nice old guy and Lajon came to greet him and take him backstage and my father threw a straight up shit fit at why he wasn't being treated as equally as important. I wanted to crawl under a rock. We ran into Morgan a few minutes later and he was nice enough but you could tell he didn't want to be bothered with my father so he told him he had to go have a meeting with the band at a restaurant across the street. My father tried inviting himself and he got shot down, it was nice. We then got in line with the normal people and my father went straight to the front and started trying to be everyone's best friend and doing his normal name dropping of Goatwhore and Devildriver and how awesome his friends in Sevendust are. I stayed about 20 people behind him texting on my phone enjoying the peace. He wore the after show pass like a badge of honor so everyone could be jealous of him in line and he could talk about himself like he's some kind of rock God hero. When he walked away I could hear the people he was in line running his mouth to talking about how the old guy's son has a job working for record labels and gets him backstage for all of these shows and stuff. I didn't even bother discussing it, I just hate how everything is just an opportunity anymore. He knew the lyrics to the popular songs only still which is so funny to watch to this day. When the show ended they wouldn't let us backstage with the passes they gave us which was totally intentional because he couldn't just be cool about it. He started arguing with security and bombing Morgan's phone and yelling at the other band members to let him in. And then he started having a pissy rant at their manager Yoshi who he still calls Yogi or Yoge for short because he thinks people would name themselves after that fag on Miami Ink or something. But you can't tell that asshole anything. So I finally managed to drag him home out of sheer embarrassment a little while later so I didn't have to be seen with him any more tonight.

So Tired

Well I went to Bake Sale yesterday now. It was a joke. I got there around noon with Cynthia and didn't get until almost 2 thanks to the wonderful record labels and Cruzan not having their shit together. The show was pretty horrible. We saw Our Lady Peace and then a bunch of horrible bands. It started to rain and we finally decided to ditch it. I got my collection of Hitler stamps today when I got home. I'm going to sleep because the migraine has got the best of me.

Balls

It was a long ass day today. I woke up at 8:30 to my father slamming doors and yelling at the dogs and a Mexican. I went and put up posters for the Halestorm guys and spent a few hours fixing a computer to repay a favor for somebody for a favor he did for my father. Doesn't sound too fair does it? I was horrified today at the post office as well. I did the self-checkout thing with the automated system and then left the box at the counter so I didn't have to put it in the dump thing because it was bottles of wine. So I tell the guy across the counter on the other end of the room that I left it there and he's like "Thanks John". Normally that wouldn't bother me but how the fuck did he see my name? It kind of makes me wonder if the post office is stalking me now. Oh well I suppose. Bake Sale is in a few hours and we shall see how that turns out. I'm going to try not to kill my father for watching auto auctions yet again. Wish me luck God dammit. Ugh and cheesy internet commercials.

Courtesy Of Magni & My Father

Round 2 of "I Can't Live Like No Nigger" starts tonight. The landlord is coming over this morning or so I was told so I had to move my fathers couch to eradicate the smell. So of course last night was another epic night of hating my life. And I was woken up early today by my father slamming doors and reusing that nasty ass water from the mop bucket four times to clean up Magni piss. I could hear him every time he rung out the mop and he claims Magni only pissed once. So now he is defending his dog. It's just sad. Here's the latest:

You Sir, Win One Free Internets.

These are the little things in life that make me smile. This is an early post for tomorrow.

I'm Mentally Exhausted

Just did my nightly walk with the dogs and cleaned the kitchen like every other single day. In a little bit I'll go and clean the floors so that my father can get home and shit all over everything like he always does. He called me a little while ago in martyr mode because he had to take money out at the bank to front somebody pot. It's not my God damned fault that he spent all of his money on drugs already but apparently it is. I'm so frustrated with this deal right now. The job search has been a total fucking waste. I'm dreading the concerts this weekend however sad that is. The show Saturday will pretty much blow and then Sunday will be 6 hours in a truck with my father and then a day of him text messaging the Sevendust guys to pay attention to him. I'll want to kill myself or him by the end of the night. I can't hardly wait.

For A Lack Of A Better Title

UPS showed up last night at 5:05 which definitely wasn't the 5pm cutoff I asked for but thankfully it came when it did or things would have been much much worse than they were. I kept Dan and his boss on Dan's first day of work until 6:15 getting that bearing pressed in. So what should have been easy turned into an all day job of course. I'm just happy that it's over. I was so stressed out yesterday I could have died. Today looks like a whole day of nothingness. I have a metric fuckton of posters from different bands that need to be put up around town but I'm failing pretty hard at that. I'm just going to lay around and listen to music and wish I had someone here to pester. I've been too apathetic to play video games too. I think I'm actually finally sick of the last Call of Duty. It's an obvious mental deficiency found in all humans that when something better comes out the old one is no longer appealing. I want the new game but that requires money that I don't have. It's okay though. I'm getting my bearings back about me now that I'm not stressed out about which shows I can and can't afford. Now I'm just looking for a job and all of that happy horseshit. Things will get better soon, or at least that's what I keep telling myself so that I don't shoot myself in the head.