Piss On You All

This is that day along with my birthday that I'm always the most depressed about all year. I haven't looked forward to either of these days since I was young and my parents bought presents because they were obligated to or else they'd be bad parents in the never ending coolness competition that they had to endure. I remember one year when I was eight or nine my parents seemingly avoided the fact that it was my birthday. I went and hid in my closet that day. I'm not sure why I remember it so clearly still but I think since then holidays haven't been the same. I've gotten some cool shit here and there but overall it's been a major fuck. Since I was 12 I've been out with my father who puts buying pot ahead of groceries so there's no reason he should do anything for Christmas. He said he bought me the new Call of Duty so he can hold it over my head for the next six months. He bought his recliners and he's buying himself an iPod because he just has to have one now that I own one so he's doing pretty good financially. I wake up every Christmas to a phone full of text messages from people who won't take ten seconds out of their busy lives the other 364 days of the year to talk to me and then won't even answer when I return their message. I even have a few numbers that aren't even in my phone because I deleted them that long ago. Between the three messengers, myspace, vampirefreaks and facebook I'd say I have about 250 unique friends. I will hear from almost all of them via status update or IM over the next day to a week about how great their Christmas was based on the rewards that they reaped from others. I guess if somebody were giving me a new laptop and all of that fun stuff I'd be more joyful towards the whole thing but how shallow and meaningless this holiday really is at the core kills me. I don't want to keep rambling in fear of sounding like my sister who posted the most nonsensical fucking stupid blog ever yesterday on facebook about how Christmas hasn't been the same since my parents got divorced. Her Christmases have gotten better since then because she's now treated like an only child from my mom's side of the family. I haven't even heard from any of them since I was 13 much less expected them to buy me shit. But she's just that selfish and has no moral qualms about it. But I know that hundreds of millions of people who rightfully have no reason to be happy will be joyous today for the sake of getting shit they didn't even know that they needed until now and I wish you all the best, just please stop trying to force your happiness on me. And if you want to tell me everything that you got from your parents who supposedly don't love you, don't understand you, etc. you can at least try holding a normal conversation with me just this one time. Oh and my NEW laptop cord died to boot. That is all for now.