Dear UPS, I Fucking Hate You

Package #1Z6E28790374011470 is going to be the fucking death of me today. Apparently you can't call them anymore and schedule a delivery or anything they just tell you it's between 9am and 7pm. So they've wasted the first 7 hours of the day and there are only 3 left. I need them to get here in the next 50 minutes so that I can go up the road and press the old bearing out and install the new one. Of course that's too much to ask for them to be reliable. It's taken them an entire week to get a package from Tennessee which is bad enough as it is. This is that giant abortion my father signed me up for still and the truck is apart now so there is no lying and getting shit situated after 5. I'm fucking stressed out and upset right now. Of course everything else in life sucks too but why keep complaining right?

Titles Are Still Overrated

I'm just being a lazy fuck today watching my Redskins game. Inevitably my father will come inside from playing with the dogs and bitch about how lazy I am and how we need to go do something today. My throat hurts from sneezing so much the past day or so. I don't feel sick or anything I guess it's just allergies. I hope things turn around this week, I really need a change.

Feeling Fat

Cynthia is here and we made a Digiorno stuffed crust pizza with a bag of BBQ chicken strips. It was pretty amazing and I've eaten entirely too much. I also am exactly the same weight as I was three weeks ago. I feel like living with my father makes losing weight a losing battle. Moving out is going to feel pretty amazing. I got home from Megadeth by like 3:30 and went to sleep around 5. Dan called and woke me up at 9:30 to move his toolbox to his new job. It's a small little place which isn't my cup of tea because it's pretty much a do anything and everything kind of place. My father was still butthurt that he got a job and I didn't. I've finally started looking in the Orlando area because that time is quickly approaching. I guess that's about it for me. I'm also going into money conservation mode now too. So shit will be boring for a while.

Black Fuckday

I was going to sit here and loathe all day but I've decided I need to go see Megadeth tonight even if I'm broke. I'm going to get on that.

Thanksgibbing

I'm sitting here starving waiting to eat still. My father is pissed off that Donna isn't coming and I heard from my mom that he started texting my sister at 7 this morning because nothing would be better than starting a huge fight on a holiday like usual. I came home last night from Skinny Puppy (good show btw) and talked to him for a few and he was all like 'eh I wouldn't have liked it' because he's never listened to them consciously or anything but he can tell. He started cooking around 2 today which is about when I woke up to face this bullshit. He just got the dogs all riled up with "who wants to go play ball" over and over until they're crying and stuff and then he realizes there's 4 dogs and a whole group of people playing outside. It's just going to be another annoying day. Food will sort of subside the annoyance until I have to clean the mess.

Publix To The Rescue

I woke up this morning without internet for whatever reason because Comcast is just that awesome anymore. Once a week my shit goes down it seems like and they have no rational answer to it. So I'm sitting here at Publix eating a sub with Cynthia and raping their Wi-Fi. Skinny Puppy is tonight in Orlando so we're going to make the trek up there in just a minute when I get off of my fat ass and finish eating. So I guess I'm going to eat some more and properly update this tomorrow on another waste of a holiday for me. I give thanks for nothing when I'm home with my father.

Dreading It

I am left to enjoy the last few hours of sanity before my piece of shit father gets home again. I lied to him and told him I was called for a job interview today so that I could get out of working on Danny's truck since the part I ordered won't be here until Monday. Cynthia and I went to the mall and to get chicken nachos so we weren't at home all day just in case he's fucking psycho enough to actually check into things which he is. So he calls me at 3:15 and I tell him I'm an hour away at this job thing and he wants to know if I can get to Danny's truck today and I tell him that I don't have the time and he just flips the fuck out about how I need to think about others before I change my plans. I stuck by the job thing and was like "Don't you think it's more important for me to find a job right now?" and he just loses it. So I know that when he gets home tonight he will be on the absolute warpath about how things went because they won't get done until next Tuesday and I can for sure do them for him then. I told him that tomorrow was probably a no go because Bill works at Chrysler and I need him to press in the bearing for me with a shop press probably won't be there because the day before Thanksgiving we were always dead and always left work early. Of course he's pissed off that the world doesn't just stop for him though. Skinny Puppy is also tomorrow night which won't bode well because he will just assume that I'm going to the show and making it all up. It's just frustrating that when I need something from him it takes me forever or it never gets done but when he needs something from me my life is supposed to stop for him. I absolutely can't wait to get out of here. Cynthia and I also called the cops on a drunk driver tonight which made us feel a little bit better inside. We're assholes.

Still Hip

So I laid around in bed until like 1 today because motivation wasn't really my thing. I was awaken by my father clamoring around to show that he was awake and wanted to go eat Chinese food. I ate a couple of small plates because I wasn't remotely hungry and I feel like I wasted ten bucks but oh well. We went to the mall so that he could buy Morgan from Sevendust a Yankees shirt to keep buying his friendship next month. On the way he went on bragging about this new band he just heard of called Death because I left my mp3s in his truck. He's brought them up like four days in a row trying to namedrop them to me as if I don't know who they are. He's asked me where they're from and shit when I told him Tampa and he is under the impression that they are still alive and relevant so I didn't clue him in that Chuck has been dead for years. It'll be epic when he goes on to someone about how he can't wait to see them someday. We went to the mall and wasted time there and he went in to Spencers to read off old, dead quotes to me as if they were funny or didn't make sense. "Bitches get stitches" and other beaten to death phrases were still cool and new to him. It pains me to be around him in public because he's so fucking lost. I also bitched about old people being on facebook and he got really upset about that and bitched about my mom some more. That's pretty much it. My life is boring.

Today's Rant

So I'm awaken at around noon today by Donna sending me a text and then calling me to tell me that my father has been sending her text messages about tying her up and masturbating to her and the reverse cowgirl, etc. I'm completely mortified by this for a lack of a better word and I hid in my bed until almost 3 over it. I woke up and he bragged about all of the messages he sent her and how great it was and how she agreed to fulfill those promises on Thanksgiving. I am pretty much just disgusted by it all. We went to Walmart and he's bragged about what a great piece of ass his imaginary girl was for a little while. We spent 9 dollars on a turkey breast and 20 on ice cream, nutty bars, cookies, etc. So welcome to my life.

Where Was I? Oh, That's Right...

So I'm home from my little Gainesville/Orlando adventure. For some reason my spelling is all kinds of fucked up today as if my fingers are completely palsy. I had a self-inflicted crappy day today I will admit but it'll be okay. I always feel like when I cause my own problems at least I know how to fix them. I had an Explorer to put front hubs on and realized it was a rear hub noise so I ordered a rear hub and will sell the front hubs I bought and will do it in the middle of the week when my father isn't home and as long as I can sell them everything will be okay. I got home last night to hear all about the imaginary 20 something year old that my dad slept with both nights that I wasn't home and now wants nothing to do with her because she likes country music and bars and that makes her a bad person he can never be with again. He's so full of shit it pains me to listen to him. He's taught the cat the bad habit of wanting to go outside with the dogs now as well since I was gone. I got home to a floor of dog hair and piss that he 'couldn't see', no clean glasses in the cabinet and dried up coffee and crumbs to the counters. I'm glad that some things will never change. I've got to be very very careful with my money for the next few weeks now as well. I'm not really sure what to do but it will definitely include some side work hopefully. I'll figure it all out and hopefully will be able to sleep better at night.

Couchsick

I'm pretty glad this is a semi-comfortable couch in Kady's office because damn I'd be miserable sitting on my ass this long otherwise. Actually let me rephrase that, I'd be in hell without my computer, but with it, it's kind of just like any other day in my pathetic life just with more boring of a scenery. It's not a knock against Kady or anything but this is why I can't do an office job like everyone says I should. Even when my body feels like shit the day takes entirely way too long when you hang out in here. That's one thing I don't miss about the dealerships was when we sat around with no work. An hour lasted about three and a work day lasted about 20. I have to make the unfun drive home tonight too so I can go to a shithouse full of dog piss that my father finds nothing wrong with.

Nah, Not Today

I think I shit out all of my enthusiasm last night or something. The show was fun enough and today consisted of finally sleeping for literally 12 hours this morning and then another nice long nap just now. I feel like I have no motivation for anything today though and I'm not quite sure why. I don't miss home aside from my bed and my Reaper and I know going back tomorrow will consist of tons of lies my father tells with hours of cleaning up his shit. I expect the house to smell like pissy mop water where he half-heartedly attemped to clean up the piss. He figures as long as there is bleach in the bucket it will overpower the piss and the bucket is still worth using. It's pretty disgusting actually. I need to watch last night's South Park but I don't know if Kady's computer is fast enough. I also want some BBQ now. So random.

Feeling Okay

I'm sitting at the office where Kady works right now. My stomach is growling because I can't stop shitting and I just had some Chipotle which will add blood to my stool apparently to go along with the constant agony of almost shitting my pants all day. I didn't sleep at all last night after the show in Orlando (fun by the way) due to the urge to poop and sneeze and never actually get comfortable. I learned Gainesville is full of retards and people from a human cloning project that were dumped in this town to self-destruct before the rest of the world catches wind of it. I was planning a big long rant but now I can't keep my bowels contained so I must go.

Daily Bullshit

Speaking of shit, my morning poo and each of my farts smell EXACTLY like last nights cheesesteak. It's a mixed blessing because they reek but mmm do I love me some cheesesteak. I'm leaving for a few days to help out the Halestorm guys this afternoon and apparently Reaper knows this so he's cuddling with me like there's no tomorrow. He had a death grip on my left hand so I'd pet his stomach until just now so I could write this. Now he's laying across my stomach with his head resting on my elbow and I just can't stand it. I've got a lot to do between now and 3 so I'm just really slacking. I'm going to go now.

Proper Update

Well it's almost 4 in the morning and the energy drinks are in full swing now that the eyebleeding ride home is over with. It took us every bit of three hours to get home with my father driving because his paranoid pothead self feels like the cops are just out to get him. So I stayed up too late last night attempting to write more of my utter nonsense since I had no internet before just giving up and going to bed. I woke up at 11 today and then dicked off way too long until it was time to get out of here hence the rushed blog entry. We waited to eat so I could take my father to that magnificent Mongolian Grill on the way there so he could bitch and moan the entire time. The place is pretty self explanatory and he fumbled around like a retard for the sake of causing a scene and I had to explain it step by step to him. Of course he loved the food and only admitted it in the car afterward. We got to the show and thankfully none of the bands were in the accommodating mood when we got there which saved me a lot of embarrassment. The show was great and all 5 bands rocked even Born of Osiris who does nothing for me put on a good enough show for me not to be repulsed. I finally broke down and saw Cannibal Corpse and really enjoyed them as well. My father talked about his pals in Goatwhore and Sevendust all night long like he does at every other show to the point of me walking away but some things will never change. We then rode home and my father went on to put words in my friend Donna's mouth about how I don't understand that she is his friend as well as my friend etc. He also went on to claim that she was looking for 'a more mature man' and he was uncomfortable about the seductive looks and stuff she gave him and statements she made. I guess he can't tell repulsed apart from lust. I have a God awful migraine now and I'm not sure why. I feel like a dog on the end of its leash that really should be going somewhere but isn't allowed to. I've heard a lot lately from people that I'm more or less a bad person and I need to just make a total overhaul I guess in my life, my lifestyle and the company that I keep. Apparently I'm failing at all of it. I've gotten to the point where I don't even know what I'm doing wrong anymore and I might as well be the last choice for when people have nothing better to do. I usually am on some kind of concert high for a day after a good show, however tonight I feel as if I've been kicked in the balls and left in the middle of a sidewalk in New York City to fend for myself. I've never had the people closest to me turn such an about face in my life. Even my family is flaking out on me. Fuck it all.

Improper Update

I wanted to make an effort into this before I went to bed last night, however I lost internet yet again and today is Hatebreed and Cannibal Corpse so yet again my blog is getting fucked. I guess everything is still the same here. I slept like a baby until about 9 when I got up for my morning piss and then I kept waking up to figure out what time it was to make sure I didn't oversleep. If I just set my alarm clock it'd make things easier, but that sounds too smart.

I Wonder

All of the time I have friends tell me that they are ignoring or hiding from this or that person, and I can only help but to wonder how many times people are hiding from me. I used to be really bitter about it and I'd add my friends list on another name and see who had me blocked so I could trim down my lists. I don't do that anymore because I just don't care but I can imagine that it's still pretty regular. I meet people all of the time who magically 'leave' right after I meet them and I never see them again and yeah I know I'm not an interesting or fun person for most people but whatever.

Also it took me two hours to get all of the dried dog piss and whatever other bodily functions cleaned off of the floor today now that we finally have bleach again. I just ate some Subway as my first meal for today too so I feel exponentially better. I kind of waited all day to eat because I was under the impression Donna and Cynthia were coming by and I figured I'd get food then. But whatever, it was a day well wasted cleaning.

Does This Still Count As A Blog?

I've been cheating and I haven't even updated this enough to consider it a blog as of late. I've had absolutely nothing to say good, bad or indifferent because it feels like I'm repeating myself daily. I know how to fix all of my problems I just don't have the resources to fix them. It's getting pretty old being stuck in this rut though and just being used until I can't be used anymore and then everybody denies any wrongdoing and it's all just my fault anyhow.

Loser

The dogs are completely out of food and I've been feeding them table scraps but my father just blew more money on pot. I can't even make this up. I was supposed to get $150 from him yesterday from his coworker to order parts on eBay and at 12:30 in the morning this morning his coworker shows up in the driveway with pot. He leaves me a note on the table today with coupons for dog food saying 'If you get paid today' which I didn't because of Veteran's Day yesterday. My life is seriously pathetic and I am on my last nerve.

The Peace And Quiet

Cynthia and I just had some sushi and some Panera and now we're watching the Seth McFarlane special. There's nothing really going on around here other than that. My father is already back on his super douchey kick about everything. I sent Ben from Goatwhore an apology in regards to my father and had to explain myself because I feel bad being such an introverted prick every time that I'm around him. I am counting down the days until I can move far far away from here. I promise a bigger update soon.

My Father Is Still An Idiot

I have some Christopher Titus on to try making me feel better. So I think I mentioned the other day that I got fucked out of 50 bucks so my father could buy weed from money that went to buying a mirror for his coworker. I called him and asked him if it had a light in the bottom of it and he says no so I order the one without it and go get it today and find that it does and I'm stuck with a mirror and supposed to buy the correct one now. It's just agonizing how stupid he is and how he never shuts up. The weekend shows were great, but there was the whole embarrassing shit of dealing with my father as he told stories that didn't exist about all of the awesome people that he's met. I'm not in the mood to keep writing right now.

Exhausted

This isn't going to be long because my poop here is the only time I have to update it. Mastodon and Dethklok were amazing last night. Converge sucked the huge cock, and High on Fire kicked ass aside from the vocals being too low. Tonight is Goatwhore and Municipal Waste so I get to spend an evening with my father embarrassing everybody. It shall suck hard. He's pretty much in love with my friend Donna so he wanted to 'invite one of his friends' to the show tonight, because you know God forbid she's been my friends for years longer and all. But whatever. I'm out. Time to eat.

Big Day Ahead...

Mastodon and Dethklok is later today which is why I've decided to do this so early. I actually have nothing intelligent to say once again. My father is currently talking Donna's ear off and I'm laying here with Kady. Poor Donna. She really needs to hear the life stories of everybody that she's inevitably going to hear tomorrow anyhow. We blew 70 bucks at Walmart as he tries to validate his best friends for life in Goatwhore on Monday. It's a good thing the Sevendust and Devildriver guys have a bus or else we'd be cooking for them in a lame attempt to be remembered or closer or whatever it is he feels like he needs to do for approval. The inevitable embarrassment will soon follow when we get there so he can tell bands stories even they've heard a million times from him, i.e. how gay Rob Halford is and why he doesn't like Judas Priest, or his badass cat named Reaper, or how awesome Volbeat is. So with that I bid you goodnight whoever does or doesn't read this.

Kinda Want Coffee

I'm laying in bed having woken up relatively early by my standards. I was even asleep by like 2 or 3 last night which is a big improvement from 6 last night. I've really got to get my sleeping pattern back in order. I want to make a cup of coffee or something but I don't like the taste of 4 hour old strong coffee that my father makes. It is beautiful here at least and all of the windows are open. I also have to scan the house for dog piss before people get here because I assured my father that if the dog pissed in the house again he's getting his nose rubbed in it, beat, and spending the entire day in the cage. After two years, you'd think that dog would have learned not to piss in the house, but my father turns a blind eye to it and leaves it for me anyhow, so why discipline the dog? Fuck my life is stupid.

I Don't Like This

With each passing day I feel as if my value as a human being is declining. I mean less and less to the people I call friends because my friendship amounts to nothing on my end. I kind of become the third wheel that doesn't bring anything to the table anymore and it kills me. I feel like I have run out of things to say and even things to bitch about because when I do nothing but sit here and think about it, it just shows what a pathetic douche I am. I just want to go far far away and hope that I was appreciated wherever I ended up.

What A Joke

My life is a pathetic pile of shit and I'm pretty much a loser. I realize this more and more with everyday that I sit home. I really need to find a job and start a new life. It's sad when something must be wrong when I'm not online at all times that I'm supposed to be awake which is from 1 p.m.-3 a.m. Even the cat isn't as fucking lazy as I am. My life amounts to nothing more than paying the bills and attempting to have a good time a couple of times a month. It's really time to get away from this whole deal.

World Series Time

Cynthia is here and we're hanging out listening to the new Swallow the Sun album waiting for the game to start. The Halloween shops are all closed already. Who knew the clearance sale only lasted like three days? I figured they'd be open for a week to unload all of that dumb shit but I was wrong. We went and loitered our abomination of the mall to find out half of those stores are closed too. I bought Kady a couple of pairs of shoes that were on clearance to say I've been a nice boyfriend this month but that was it. My mouth hurts like hell as well. I have some kind of sore on my mouth that makes it feel like a toothache but it's not or else it's a combination of the two. So I'm going to sit around and do nothing until the game is over. And then hopefully celebrate.

Try Again Tomorrow

Well the Yankees didn't close it out last night, so we have to wait until tomorrow for my father to get out of his bitchy miserable mood into his "I'm better than you because I'm a Yankees fan and my last name is Gehrig" mode. He woke me up this morning to wire the new oven that came because we had to take it off of the old one. Of course it was three Phillips head screws and there's no way to wire it backwards but he is in fact just that helpless. The magical cleaning fairy just got done tonight and now I can lay around and pretend that I did nothing all day. I actually do feel fat and entirely useless as of late because I've eaten and slept and done nothing else but sit online. It's pretty pathetic if I may say so myself. At least the cat has cuddled up with me. So really my life is still a joke and I'm tired of it but what else is new right?

Let's End This Tonight

I'm sitting here watching the World Series praying that my father doesn't remember that wrestling is on so we don't have to keep flipping between channels to watch Randy Orton and the same other 9 wrestlers that are on weekly. We need to come back from 3-1 down tonight and wrap this up so I don't have to have my bipolar fathers' attitude hinging on the outcome of the game. He's still coughing up his lungs right now so this should be interesting. And if I haven't said it lately, fuck he's helpless without me. And I'm getting pretty fucking fat and need a hardcore diet.

Been Meaning To Update This Properly

So Thursday Cynthia & I drove to Kissimmee and checked into the hotel and met up with Kady. We got all dressed up for the KMFDM show which was pretty strange because I had never worn fishnet anything in public but it wasn't so bad. We had a great time and they put on a great show even though Angelspit was pretty stupid honestly. We went and had an epic meal at Ihop afterward and went to our hotel and slept until about 1. We left for Jacksonville at about 3:30 for the Skeletonwitch/Toxic Holocaust/Trap Them show and didn't get there until 7 thanks to the amazing traffic in Orlando. I had the best bear claw of my life at their Panera bread as well. All three bands were awesome and Trap Them made me extremely happy to see finally. We left before the Black Dahlia Murder because well they're just assholes and their music blows to boot. We made it home by about 1 something and then stayed up until about 4. We got up around 11 and went to Lakeland and ate at the Mongolian Grill place with Haley. It was amazing to finally see her again too. We got to Tampa around 3 and parked and couldn't get into the show until 5:30 when guest lists were posted. We took retarded pictures and I scared off the religious kids before we got in. We saw the sights and enjoyed seeing Cynthia drunk and all and then went backstage and hung out. We got to stand on stage for Nonpoint and Sevendust and it was a good fun show and quite peaceful. We stayed and partied with them until 3ish which would have been 4ish if it weren't for the whole time change thing before getting up at 9:30 this morning to check out of the hotel. We checked out, went to lunch and went home so I could hear the amazing stories about everything that I missed multiple times before I finally went to sleep and woke up to see my game where we are currently beating the Phillies. By the way Kady looked extremely hot all weekend and it was quite amazing and she bought me an Ipod for my birthday which is something I've always wanted for my truck. My father actually couldn't bitch and was resentful more than anything because he couldn't afford pot this week so he got me a whole lot of nothing like every other year. All in all it was an amazing four day weekend that I wish I could do more often.