Making Friends

Alright, so just as the title implies, today's rant is all about making friends. It's definitely one of the most depressing aspects of my life. I learned many years ago that I just don't like people and I'd rather be alone than have shitty friends. But there comes a point in everyone's life when you need some kind of companionship to keep from going insane. I have very few friends close to me, and about twenty great friends scattered throughout the world but that's only after going through literally thousands of failed people. It's so hard to make friends now a days because the television has changed the way that people can make friends. When you're young you can hang out with someone and if you get along with them on the superficial basis of if they're fun to hangout with you can get their phone number and do whatever for as long as you can stand them. As you get to about the age of fifteen you acquire friends of the same sex usually by accident or through acquaintances but if you ask someone of the other gender for their phone number or whatever after hanging out with them you've overstepped your bounds because you must be trying to sleep with them. It's so much easier to make friends if they are easy on the eyes too because I'll be the first to admit it takes a fucking amazing personality to overcome fat and ugly. That's exactly why I try my damnedest to have a good personality. But of course if they're easy on the eyes they know that people want to sleep with them and odds are you don't just want to be their friend even if you're in a happy steady relationship and everything else. Everyone is too uptight and paranoid now and that's why I'm completely clueless as to how to break down that barrier in real life with people without going over the line. But for fuck's sake when I meet cool people now I get their myspace or facebook address instead of their phone number which is already crazy enough. But I message probably hundreds of strangers a year on all of the big social networking sites and later on Yahoo, MSN or AIM and most of the time I delete their screen names within the first time I speak to them because I can't handle the utter stupidity they possess and I wonder how anybody does. It drives me crazy when I meet people who think telling me about their exploits of drug use is a reason to be their friend and to think they're awesome. It's like "fuck yeah, you're my hero because you've done heroin!" Some people tell me about the people they fuck, or how awful their families are. I'm one of the latter of course so I can see why people don't want to be my friend either. I don't know anymore, I just wish that I could make friends without going through the hassle of them all thinking I want to fuck them or them all being psychopathic drug addicts who fuck anything that walks and then cry to me about being used.