The Days Aren't Getting Longer, But I Feel Fatter

So the time has come that it's finally cooling down at night. It only took six fucking months though. It's time to score some new batteries so I can ride my bike at night again and lose some fucking weight. I feel like not working has negated the weight I've tried to lose as of late and it's pretty sad and embarrassing. I've been pretty good about my eating in the aspect that I haven't been to any all you can eat's lately, eaten six Big Mac's or anything else equally as disgusting but the weight is still there. I've eaten a lot of subs and sushi which I've had both of today and still too many eggs and starches because they are too much a part of my diet to sacrifice. Living with my father ruins it and it's just another thing I look forward to getting away from. I love his food but he brings home two or three times more than I should eat most nights and it's always at 11 at night. So that's definitely the plan for 2010 is to lose a lot of weight so people are no longer repulsed by my fat ass and no longer feel the urge to make snide remarks about it because they're worried about my feelings by just being like 'hey, you're fat.'

Anyhow, Satyricon was the best black metal show I've been to thus far. Their 90 minute set last night definitely rocked my world and I have a couple of cool things from it. I then spent all but 35 cents from my bank account by the time I got home at 5 this morning and woke up at 7 stressed out and then went to the bank as soon as it opened at 9 to give the lady 8 dollars in loose bills and $10 in quarters. The girl in the window was actually fairly cute which is a change from most banks and she gave me this soul eating death stare through that window like I was pure white trash for giving her that money after she looked into my account I'm sure. But that's just another day in the life of John.

Going To Be A Long Day

Well I just woke up even though I fully plan on going right back to sleep. My typing skills this morning are absolute shit too. I stayed up way too late last night writing, which is now on the website and stuff. It was pretty fun but the feeling of having to have it online so I could start the next part got annoying in my own head. I woke up two hours late in claiming my unemployment weeks. I always get up around 7ish but just got up now and although it doesn't matter since it's before 11 still, the website is so God awful slow during peak hours they seem to do it to discourage people from claiming their weeks. It takes about 15 minutes to get through about 12 simple html pages with four yes and no questions for each week. You would think they'd beef up the server knowing the high demand but they tell you if you're having any problems to call the 1-800 number. That would be fine and well except it's always busy too. Whatever though man, it's done for another two weeks. Cynthia should be here around noon so I can change her oil, then we'll grab a bite to eat and make the trek back to Orlando for the first time of many this week alone. I don't mind going but it takes a toll on you after a while. It's such a boring drive and you think about the hundreds of dollars you'd save in just living there. I can't wait to get out of here.

Here We Go Again

Alright, it's another amazing Monday, my father is on the war path. He found out we were going to Satyricon tomorrow without him since he has to work and he's all pissy because he thought it was in October and could take the day off of work to go see them. Of course I could tell him twenty times this week alone about the show it just hit him that it's tomorrow. So the easiest thing for him to do when he's jealous is start a fight. Supposedly he had two big round buds of this great weed that he was saving for the Metallica show in the second drawer of his nightstand away from everything else so he didn't smoke it and Cynthia and I were the only ones here and she must have stolen it. So he went on about how he smokes a lot of pot but 'it doesn't make him stupid' and he knows he didn't smoke it so she had to steal it. I went to the dump to get away from him and got home and cleaned my bathroom a bit since I admit to pissing on the toilet too much like everyone else when you wake up at seven in the morning. We still have this God awful couch that has been pissed on about two hundred times and is chewed apart and my father wants me to sew it closed when Trin gets here because that will make it all better. He's completely insane I tell you. Well here's to another amazing day in hell.

Help Me!

This pawn shop show is back on. my father actually likes this shit. Because the fat guy has to hit on the girl and see if she's a stripper or something because she's hot. What an epic pile of shit. My Redskins lost to the worst team in football and I just feel like a loser. I've gotten about fifteen jabs about how I didn't have a job over these past couple of days since I got home from the show on Friday. I am worried about what the future entails right now and I worry about everything being fucked up. I feel like anything could happen from me getting shot to me shooting myself to just failing at everything in life. I have no idea what to do and I'm tired of being so broke. I don't want to keep talking about it though. I'll bitch at a later time.

Bored Again, What Else Is New?

Well, we went to Best Buy again today and Cynthia bought a laptop which I've spent all evening doing Windows Updates to and removing Norton and everything else. The cleaning fairy also came back to get rid of the sugar ants and dog hair and all on the floor. But now that it's all done there's nothing to do. Oh the cleaning fairy cut the front yard too so I don't have to be woken up at 9 in the morning to hear about what a monumental day he had washing his truck and mowing the lawn. The Yankees have beat Boston two in a row in baseball news which is also nice and it just reminded me to put my Notre Dame game on. So now I have that to do. Later.

Ah, Baseball

Well I'm home from my two days in Orlando. Had a great time except for literally not being able to fall asleep at the hotel. I was one pillow short and the bed was too hard for my liking. I'd get close to sleeping and then the A/C unit would kick on and wake me back up. I'm completely exhausted right now and can't wait to hit my bed tonight. Chevelle has matured into a really good live band with an amazing light show. The guys from Halestorm are really cool and I look forward to covering more shows for them. My mom called on the warpath about what a piece of shit my father is, it's kind of funny especially seeing how it was completely out of left field. I got my chicken nachos today too but they were a little bit lacking on the chicken and cheese compared to usual and the bitch was so cheap she charged me for an extra sour cream and salsa for the first time ever. I'm sorry, I'm completely rambling right now. When I started typing this my Yankees were up 6-1 and it's now 6-3 so I'm going to watch the rest of this game and hang out. Goodnight.

Lazy

I am being entirely too lazy today. I laid in bed until pretty much now even though I've been up as early as 9. Going to see Chevelle and Halestorm tonight. I'm kind of interested to see how that works out since Atlantic Records is notorious for fucking with me. Nothing is ever good enough for that company. I need to leave here at about 2:30, which is an hour from now, but I've yet to shower, clean, let the dogs out, finish packing, etc. because it's been too much fun to lay here and cuddle with this amazing cat of mine. I finished the front page of my website last night and watched baseball until my father came home. He came home dramatically late to prove that he's busy at his job and then gave me his passive aggressive 'you must get bored just sitting around at home all day' bullshit. So thankfully a day or so without him will be nice. He will just call at the most inopportune times though to tell me entirely stupid shit like he always does. His latest kick now is he wants to blow a ton of money to go the last NASCAR race of the season if his driver is in position to win the championship. He's all up on his high horse about 'how he owes it to him'. Because yes, sitting in a grandstand full of 100,000 other drunk rednecks is the support that his driver needs to win that race. I love sports as much as the next guy, however people in the grandstands do not affect the final outcome (unless you're the Chicago Cubs). If there's 1 million people there or 15 people there they still get paid to do exactly the same job every week and if you actually got to meet the driver or athlete and wish them luck and give them helpful hints at winning it'd be entirely different. But my father is a fucking insane liar so he'd probably go to the race so he could tell all of his 'friends' back here that he was in the garage hanging out with everyone and he was a part of the championship. He's just a douche like that. My fingers feel really weird right now like I'm not even pushing the keyboard. It's kind of cool. I think this means time to clean.

This Argument Is Not Valid

Well today was a total waste. I put gas in my truck for the few days I'll be in Orlando, went to Burger King and ate some lunch then came home and sat on my ass. Right now the cleaning fairy has reappeared just like it does every other night between 8 and 9 to clean the house so that lazy douchebag can sit on his smelly ass couch and eat for a few hours. Tomorrow night is Chevelle and Halestorm. I did my best to get people to come out to the show but aside from my regular concert goers that are pretty much strictly metal it's blasphemy for anybody to want to go out and have a good time at a concert. Of course if it's Ozzfest, Warped Tour or Mayhem Festival it's different because seeing ten or twenty bands in one day equals a whole year of concert going for most people. I guess I'm weird like that, I can say I've seen a band at shows like that but I don't feel like I've truly seen a band unless they were the headliner or played a decent set. Perfect example would be Chevelle. I saw them at Ozzfest 2003 and the crowd absolutely hated them. It was a day that reeked of uber gothiness with Cradle of Filth fans everywhere and Disturbed fans waiting in the wings. Chevelle wasn't bad but they played thirty minutes of music that didn't fit in nor have much appeal that day. But they've never let me down any other time I've seen them. I think that's why I've seen most bands I like multiple times because a festival show just isn't right for me. A band is on and off the stage in the time that they'd just be warming up at a small club. It's still going to be a nice few days away and I've got to pack my shit here in a few minutes after I finish cleaning. I've also done minimal website redesign today so if anyone is so bored head on over to http://loveissuicide.com

Not Too Much To Say

Well I spent today eating Publix subs and putting up posters. And listening to people bash my father because they think he's always crazy. I'm not really into updating this tonight because I'm feeling kinda sorta lazy at the moment. I'm ready for some metal shows and sleep because both rock my world. And I have this really adorable cat cuddled up on the couch. So that's all for now.

Ugh, Military Commercials

So I've been up since about 1 today which is pitiful enough on its own. But I went to my room early last night to get some peace and quiet and my father barged in three times for completely stupid reasons unannounced and then after he realized I was up and showered he comes in with his coupon book from Burger King that I gave him telling me he had buy one get one free Tendergrill Chicken sandwiches still and he wanted to go there. So he stomped out of my room having a tantrum when I told him I didn't have the money. He was the same one to tell me he had no money last night and last time we went to Burger King also threw a tantrum about how he hated Tendergrills and had to have Tendercrisps because I didn't want deep fried food at the moment but I gave in and let him have his way. Since I've made my presence known in the living room we've watched a few minutes of headline news which is about two days late on news that I've already told him about followed by the Food Network since. Because there's nothing like making me hungrier and him arguing about how he does things compared to them. One thing that's bothered me is the military commercials they've been playing on here. They act as if they're more of a burden to the parents than the kids. I love it because they show a perfectly balanced stable girl going to her mom about wanting to join and how she's dealing with the news. Everyone knows that very few people do that. Most of the sane ones decide in high school they want to join for the sake of an education whereas the majority of the kids are total fuckups that have the choice of enlisting or going to jail or being losers their entire life. Or then there's the rednecks that are gonna go kill them some Talibans and their parents are proud that they've raised a killing machine that will do something beyond sitting on a farm for the rest of their lives. I shouldn't be annoyed by those commercials so much but they sure make it seem like it's such an easy decision to be a part of something or whatever. If you want to be a part of something so bad, go to college and join a fraternity right? But whatever, this is a stupid rant. And it'd just make everyone think I was anti-military which couldn't be further from the truth. Alright back to car shows. Perfect.

Lazy Day

Well the house is quiet again. By quiet I mean my father is washing his truck yet again so people will pay attention to him and he will have something to talk about for the rest of the day. He also mowed the lawn so he will be in full martyr mode for the rest of the day. The house smells wonderfully like bleach at the moment so it doesn't smell like dog piss or anything else. I listened to my father talk to the dogs all morning about how they got the house back to themselves and how much happier they were over it. Of course anyone who knows my dogs knows they love nothing more than new people to pet them. We also went to Ihop to send Dustan off this morning for his drive home. The service sucked because it was all fat old slobs wearing football jerseys that didn't care about their jobs it seemed. We then went to Walmart and I had to listen to the stories about how amazing of a host he was for Dustan and Cynthia and how many hundreds of dollars he spent on pot while they were here so he could pretend to be cool. He went on about how great of a friend he must be to let them shack up and fuck in our guest bedroom as if it really mattered or bothered him if there were two people or one in the bed that I bought just so they could do that. He proceeded to bitch about how little money he had to go two weeks and how he'd lend me money in two weeks which I will not accept. His money lending techniques are obvious traps to guilt me into doing things for him. Oh he was also deeply OFFENDED by the muffler on Dustans car. He begged me to agree with him repeatedly over the past week about how awful it was and how it took away from the car etc. Of course he thinks his Mexican wannabe truck is the coolest thing ever made and there are no flaws with it. He also attempted to out-cool this Luke fellow last night by bragging about how he spends 2-300 dollars a week on weed. Seriously, when the fuck has that ever been something to brag about? Escape just looks sweeter and sweeter everyday right now.

Not Too Much To Say

So today is the five week anniversary of me having a blog. Not really much to say today. Cynthia and Dustan are here for one more day as well as Donna and Luke. Been kind of a fun night with a 1 pound burger except for my amp head shit out. I promise to write more tomorrow. My father is showing off his tattoos now. It's so earbleeding. I'm out.

The Man Who Never Shuts Up

Time for my daily update. My father got home today and hasn't shut the fuck up. I tried showing everyone the new Rammstein video but my father sat and talked our ears off about everything and anything. He bought yet another quarter ounce of weed tonight, so that puts his tally up to 1 3/4 ounces in two weeks. I'm not sure exactly what he will do with all of it. I know that after Dustan and Cynthia leave he will tell me about the hundreds of dollars he spent getting them high to be a good host. He brought home food for the three of us but brought home enough for just me and we split it up. So I waited all day for that one meal and failed. Tomorrow I will be ravenous as hell. I want some Sonny's BBQ tomorrow very badly. I don't have much to say tonight though, I'm just annoyed as hell.

Lights Are On, Nobody's Home

I'm just sitting here hungry as hell because I'm too broke to buy food for the house. I would actually buy food for me but that's never enough for my douchebag father and then I'm just cheap. If we don't spend between $150-$200 at the store on chips and cakes and candies then there is obviously nothing to eat in the house. I'm happy having a bunch of instant food and things that are ready to cook but who knew that was a sin? I'm also sinning by listening to the black album by Metallica since I never ever listen to it. I've cleaned my dog piss and vomit ridden floor already tonight and the rest of the house so the magical cleaning fairy stopped in and sprinkled the goodness yet again without my father noticing. His couch is off limits within about ten feet now because it smells that horrible. Even he has finally acknowledged how bad it smells and blames me for not finding a couch on craigslist to buy to replace it. My truck didn't start today because it sat since Monday afternoon without being started or anything. That's not right of course but it's expected because of my stereo. I was able to get it started after charging it for a bit to get my student loan deferment forms faxed out so that they can't garnish all of my imaginary wages. I am seriously just sick of my life and want a new one. It seems like every aspect of my life has these giant question marks hovering over them and there's not enough time in the day to get an answer. Most days I feel like I'm just a pawn in somebody else's game and I'm not meant to understand my life. I think I'm just supposed to sit here and take it like the asshole that I am and see where it all ends up at the end of the day.

Stressed

I never thought I'd be stressed out about all of the concerts coming. I have almost twenty coming up in the next two months and that's extremely gluttonous and selfish for somebody without a job so obviously I won't go to all of them but still, wow. I am praying to whoever it is that I hit the lottery tonight. My father was a typical overbearing asshole last night who threw a temper tantrum at the truck stop so I spent the end of my money filling his gas tank even though he still owes me money. He has a very short term memory though of course. He talked about Devildriver and Goatwhore repeatedly as if they were his best friends in the world and he had insider information about them. It was pretty sad. He know absolutely no Motörhead songs except for "Ace of Spades" so he stood there completely lifeless for the entire night like a stump. He was obviously disappointed by the show but couldn't admit it because he's a total tool. I cannot wait for the day to get out of here. My mom is thrilled to be giving me the money just for the sake of my sanity. I emailed the people who have the house we really like and told them if it was still available in December we'd take it. I've yet to hear back from them, but I'll just wait and see. We are getting a 4 bedroom house so Kady & I can have a room, Dustan & Cynthia can have a room, a guest bedroom and then a music room. Dustan has like 12 guitars, I have three, he has a drum set and Kady has a bass so we can put together a nice room. I will in fact buy a keyboard then just to round things out nicely. Well I guess this is it for now.

Can't Sleep

Alright, it's almost three in the morning the day of Motorhead. I am excited, yes but I just can't sleep. I have to wake up in 4 hours to claim my hours for unemployment so I can get paid this week. I am broke as fuck and have like twenty dollars in the bank. My father of course is bitching about how broke he is because the man has bought three half ounces of weed in the past two weeks. He also owes me $25 from the other day that I will never see of course. I never see any money he owes me. But he will go into full martyr mode tomorrow about how much he spent on gas to go to Tampa and back. My father is quite simply a drug addict craving validation in life, it's so sad. I am going to get Cynthia to ask him what his favorite Motorhead song is tomorrow in front of a large crowd of people so I can expose him as the tool that he is. He literally doesn't know any song aside from "Ace of Spades" but speaks about them as if they're his favorite band. But because he spent 15 dollars on two stickers that put the Motorhead logo on his cell phone he will be the biggest fan there guaranteed. That phone will come out of its holster no less than 25 times today to show people who will smile and say 'cool' so he will potentially shut up. Hell given the chance to meet Lemmy, he might also pull it out to show him and be like "I've been your biggest fan for thirty years now!" He always goes on to tell us that they're just normal people etc. yet he's the one who gets all excited and childish when he meets a band member and then speaks to others like they are peasants for not meeting that person. He has asked me no less than fifteen times who is opening the show tomorrow. I guess he thinks I'll change it up and fuck him up even more. The man is undeniably crazy. Fuck, I cannot wait until the day that I don't have to live with him anymore. Only a few more months until I regain most of my sanity. I hate having to cater to his needs and how he expects to see me sitting on the couch next to him with a big smile on my face waiting to eat all of the nonsense that he tells me up with joy. Alright, I've got a wicked stomach ache and a headache as well. I better not be getting some kind of sick. I'm out.

What Is There To Say?

Well Motorhead is tomorrow, so you'll get a really half-assed blog out of out me come then. You'll also get a really half-assed one out of me tonight. I'm just not in the mood for anything at all. Sevendust announced a concert on my birthday today and Megadeth is coming the day after Thanksgiving. This would be great but I'm already stressed the fuck out about money and all of the shows that are coming without a job to pay for them. I haven't really figured out what to do though. It's a catch 22 with me because no job makes for a lot of free time for shows but no money kind of defeats the purpose. I am playing the lottery because if there is a metal God he will let me win 17 million dollars. I'll do something nice for the metal world like build a non nazi-ish concert venue in Orlando or a recording studio. But I'll never win the lottery or anything, I'll always be poor and I'm prepared for that. Well I'll update again in a few hours.

Back To Pooping

Well my Redskins embarrassed themselves for opening week. Horray. I am sitting here taking my evening dump since we had steak for dinner and I ate entirely way too much today. I think my father intentionally over feeds people so they can be fat and miserable like him. I have every suspicion that I will lose 30 or 40 pounds within the first six months of not living with him. Cynthia and Dustan are still here and my father still hasn't stopped speaking to them yet. He's annoying as all hell of course kind of like my dogs barking at nothing. I'm sitting here taking a shit and it's the most peace and quiet I've had all day. Somehow every conversation my father has goes into bands that he doesn't know anything about but bragging about how awesome they are and what good friends they are. I think the first step in a friendship is that the band member actually remembers your name. But maybe it's just me or something. I'm two days away from Motorhead at least which will be amazing again. The concert schedule is going to be very busy in the next 60 days and while it will be very good it will also be very expensive. I hear my phone getting text messages and I'm not done yet so I cannot wipe my ass. And God I hate the burning feeling of a lingerer that won't just fall in the bowl. Okay. I'm out.

Still Sneezing

It feels like another Saturday to me. Humanity is out and about having a great time and I sat around for the past two days because I'm broke and I only have one friend within an hour of here and she's holed up in my guest bedroom with her new boy toy. I really wish I had the capacity to make friends but I'm too much of an asshole I suppose. I hate how the internet has changed things for humanity. If I call a girl beautiful on the internet they take it as a compliment, but if I dared to say the same thing in person I'm a pervert who wants to sleep with them. And I don't mean that I call people beautiful for them to be my friends but it's just an example. I've griped about this once before so I'm not going to start back up with it again. My Fighting Irish lost in the last 20 seconds tonight which really sucked. I missed football season though. I think sports are a great thing for humanity yet a bad thing for reality. People don't need to be paid 25 million dollars a year to play sports but they should be compensated well enough to make a good living off of it. I love a lot of sports but football is a quick season and everyone picks their teams and plays their fantasy leagues and it brings out the competitive nature in men that all women hate seeing but we need to survive. I'd go fucking crazy if I had to talk to guys that I didn't like and couldn't relate to them about sports. I can relate to people my age with stupid shit like Family Guy or Jay & Silent Bob and make small talk without feeling the need to kill them. But there is an age where men want to 'grow up' and stop talking about that shit but they always somehow hold on to football. You can always tell the ones like myself who are just educated enough to know their team and the teams in their division and the playoff picture and I think that's the good kind to know. You can compare notes and learn about each others teams if you actually cared but you don't devote every second of your life to it. Then you can see the ones who have absolutely no life and know everything about every team, you learn to avoid them unless you're stumped about a random piece of trivia because they have no fucking life. They sit on the couch and watch every game and watch all of the shows and have little to no social life. Then there are people like my father who don't even know about their team but are pessimists and are excited when their team wins. You should usually avoid them too, it somehow shows their outlook on life as one giant failure that cares just enough to get by. Then there are the guys who place 'friendly wagers' on games. They are a mixed breed though. If it's a ten or twenty dollar bet between his team and his buddies team it's harmless, but when you have to bet on things every week and you have 'sure bets' and stuff you can bet on a loser, a wannabe guido or someone again with no social skills. I hope this guide helps clarify sports, in particular football, and why most men need them to cope. Of course this doesn't apply to goths, preps, openly gay men, and the hardcore musicians that don't want to tarnish their badass image, but for almost everyone else, this is it.

Sanity, Where Have You Gone?

So I would have updated this earlier but I'm suffering through Dustan and Cynthia being here. It's great hanging out with them however my father has this I can't shut the fuck up problem. I wish I didn't have to hear the same stories over and over again. I can't begin to tell you how annoying it is. His kidney stone saga has gone from 12 to 14. The man can't even remember his own lies. I just had some amazing Checkers though. I love cheese and anything covered in cheese. My dogs have been locked outside because they're assholes which sucks. My mom called me today after her heart attack. She's getting better though aside from my sister being a superb cunt again. And even she plotted to kill my father. Glad we're on the same page yet again. I am going to go now before I take an ice pick to my ear canals.

All of the Cool Kids Have Allergies

Alright, I've been sneezing for the past two days and it's done a number at annoying the fuck out of me. I've slept plenty, I've eaten well and all of that fun shit but fuck I can't kick this shit. It's what happens when I dig up all of the dust in the house that I didn't know existed by cleaning shit that hasn't been cleaned since the last time I had company at my house. My father obviously will have no part in cleaning but has no problem in taking credit for it. The new guest bed is comfy as hell and will most definitely be coming with me one day in the future. My father owes me money for buying blinds that his dog ate and stuff that I will never see. He has this really crafty way of doing shit where he makes me buy something because he has to go to work and then he runs his usual line of "I only have $100 bills". He does it when we go out to eat all of the time too. It's quite sad. But tonight he brought home a bottle of red and a bottle of white wine and 6 steaks since Dustan will be here in a few hours and even though my father invited him here he is "my guest". So I'll get the guilt trip and martyr act over all that he's done for him too so it shall be exciting. I'm going to go sneeze some more and prepare for company soon I guess.

Stressed The Fuck Out

Well this probably won't be too long of a blog but it's still my daily duty to update. My mom had a heart attack on Monday I guess it was but my sister didn't care enough to tell because she figured I knew telepathically or something since 'my mom tells me everything'. Of course my sister just like my father has decided to take it upon herself to be a martyr and make her problems her own. She just wants the sympathy for someone else's pain. My father is pulling the same shit so I really can't deal with it right now. My life is bad enough as it is without half of my family feigning concern for my mom. I'm going to jet for now, sorry for not enough of an update, I just don't have it in me. I feel like I'm on the edge and waiting to fall over.

Sons Of Manarchy

My father is watching another one of his retarded TV shows tonight. I am ashamed to say Henry Rollins is in this episode though. Sons of Anarchy isn't one of those shows I give a flying fuck about although I've seen worse scripted shows. It's just so funny to see Kathy Segal as a sex symbol and catch her being eaten out by a guy who just evolved from the stone age. I love how they made sure to incorporate all of the stereotypes of motorcycle gangs from fifty years ago. Men who look like they don't bathe, men who are too socially inept and freakish looking fucking the sleazy motorcycle type women that are all heartbroken over them. Although I saw a whole group of goth girls in here so I guess they missed the memo that goths aren't bikers. And it's funny to see MA shows like this that are allowed to say shit make sure to use the word shit and pussy as much as possible for the sake of doing it. I know nobody has realized it's entirely a grown man's soap opera. It's not like a show like House or Prison Break or the X-files where there is a light at the end of the tunnel or a plot. Actually, there might be a plot to this show but I've still yet to see it. All I've found thus far is an episode of 'As The World Turns' with burly men involved. Why am I always so frustrated by television? Almost half of my entries to this date have been rants about a certain show that I hate. I guess it's because I know that most people who watch this crap make up the majority of the world and that scares the shit out of me. I guess if nothing else, aside from WWE, professional sports at least have a common objective at the end of the day. Alright time to do the daily crossword.

Didn't It Make Sense The First Fifteen Times?

Alright, I just wasted an hour of my time that I want back. My father needed his tires rotated two weeks ago but then realized how tight they were so he left it for me since I have air tools and he doesn't have the mental capacity to use a forward/reverse air gun. So at least ten times over the past two weeks he asked me why they would tighten his lug nuts so tight. So today I finally went to do it and it ended up breaking my adapter trying to break the left front tire free and all he did was kept asking me why they'd do that. I'm not sure how many times you can ask the same question and I can answer it with the same exact question of "it was neglect". I guess he hates hearing the truth and that all of these people aren't really his friends who did it. Now his new obsession is asking me what I'm doing online about twice an hour while I sit on the couch because I should enjoy auto auctions and sports that aren't relevant to me as much as him. Fuck I'm bored. I am happy that there is a doubleheader of baseball today because yeah, it's useless and unproductive but it's better than auto auctions and whatever else. I wish he'd shutup already.

Ugh, Music

I'm sitting here with absolutely NOTHING to do today. It's a very boring Sunday. I washed the dogs and played some Call of Duty for a few minutes but then when my father comes in he's in control of the television because God forbid I find something worth watching. We change between the Metal, Rock & Retro Rock channels looking for something to listen to. If he hasn't heard of a band like Amorphis or Moonspell he changes it and uses a simple "they suck". If it's on the Rock channel he bitches about how there are too many bands now a days and he can't keep track. If it's on Retro Rock he bitches about how they keep playing the same song because he can't tell them apart. Or if he's read about the band like All That Remains or Wino "they annoy him" if he's never listened to them before. Then he has this predetermined list of bands that he's never heard that he will leave on such as Emperor or Satyricon because they are "badass". Then there is a list of about six or seven bands that he actually knows the songs to because he listens to them to death at work and in his truck. Static-X, Bush, Godsmack, Rob Zombie, Sevendust, Shinedown and random radio songs by like Staind. Aside from that he's helpless. He's asked me who I'm listening to before when playing Pantera, In Flames, Fear Factory, Lamb of God, Goatwhore, etc. but he brags about how "badass" they are too. So I guess it's got to suck trying to cling onto a phase that has passed you by thirty years ago. That is today's annoyance just because he turned off a good Fuel song to watch TV on mute, changed The Cult for no reason, bitched about King Diamond and complained about how he's never heard of any other bands.

Wasted Days

This is the three week anniversary of me having a blog. Pretty fucking sad I must say. I haven't accomplished anything by having it but I have passed probably a couple hours of time collectively since then that I could have spent finding a job or something as useful. I really need to play the lottery more. I feel completely useless not working but really at the end of the day it's entirely about money. If I had a lot of money I'd be okay with sitting around because really I would be doing anything but sitting around. I think I'm way too easy to make happy in that respect. I'm so used to being bored and feeling useless that anything to me is an improvement. I haven't moved my truck again today and tomorrow doesn't seem like there will be any difference. I need more friends around here but it's seeming impossible. I messaged one person who I thought looked pretty cool around here and got a four word completely incoherent answer, so I assume she's a major in ebonics secretly and it's just another fail. I feel like I come from a completely different generation than people two and three years younger than me. I didn't have a phone at any time in my thirteen years of school until I got to college so I learned how to properly spell and be responsible without relying on my phone to get me through life. I get pissed off when I misspell things so I don't even think about using ghetto abbreviations for them. People are sad though, they intentionally make themselves dumber to fit into society now. And for that, I hate society.

Boredom

Alright, I sat around and did nothing with Cynthia most of the day. Now I'm off to sitting around and watching 'Juno'. I've never seen it before and it's a pretty good movie aside from every time Michael Cera is present on screen. The 4chan people were entirely right in saying that he plays the socially awkward teen in every single movie he's ever been in. The chick in the movie is the cool type because they don't make her out to be this God awful confused teenager so she at least has an identity. I fucking hate all movies where they make an actor or two actors into the type where you're supposed to feel uncomfortable watching them so that you can relate or something like that. Most movies involving teenagers all have that one character and it's fucking annoying. I will say one thing that would make this movie awesome would be an alternate ending where she has an alien spawn come out of her and she sends it to the adoption family where they raise it to kill humanity. My laptop battery is dying and I guess the end of the movie will be worth watching or something so I'll leave this short today. And God damn this cat is cute. He is standing on his back legs only trying to see on the couch to see the dog sleeping without waking him up. Goodnight.

You Too Have Died Before

Alright, it's been a day since the Down/The Melvins show. A pretty awesome show I must say aside from all of the other crap in my life. I woke up this morning and worked on a computer for an old co-worker for $25 because I need the money and a reason to get out of the house. The house I will mention was a shit hole like always. I get home to cereal in the sink and the floor covered in hair and pieces of a chewed produce bag that he won't sweep up because he'd rather lay in it and wait for me to clean it the next day. Then I got a phone call from this guy Darryl that I used to work with years ago that needed help fixing his computer. I must say spending a few hours with this guy gives me a renewed hope in life. I didn't charge him for the hours I spent there because he needs the money much more than I do. I was his savior though which is kind of cool. He has no job and two vehicles that are both broken down. He has a four bedroom house that looks as if it should be condemned and gave three bedrooms to his ex and her new family so they'd split the bills and he has a bedroom, bathroom, hallway and a fridge cordoned off for himself. There is a hippie that lives behind the house in a converted school bus and he puts out for all of them with his unemployment and they do nothing for him. He has a fourteen year old son who gets in fights with people daily and can't attend school because he just gets arrested. They were worried about me fixing their computers for them while I was there too but proceeded to have a cookout and left Darryl and I there to shake our heads because they act as if the guy is dead. Obviously, I didn't lift a finger to help them. His kid saw my laptop and got all wide-eyed that I brought it there so he could get on his myspace which wasn't happening. His brother just killed himself and his daughter ran away from home to get married and is having a kid in twelve days and somehow this guy just keeps putting up with it. He caught so much shit when I worked with him for not going to work but after witnessing it I give this guy a world of credit for just waking up everyday. He'd do anything in the world for you but he doesn't really have much to give so I'd be a dick for taking his money. But I guess I learned from him that shit could in fact always be much much worse. I was kind of tempted to give him my extra computer but I'm worried his kid will just ruin it. He has a Dell with Windows ME and 64 mb of RAM and I got it working so it will get on the internet and stuff now and I introduced him to craigslist and a good porn site so he's pretty much in heaven. It's amazing how people with so little to live for keep going and so many people with so much to live for just don't realize how good they've got it.

Well Shit

I never thought about what I'd do to keep up my daily posts on concert days. So I figured it's technically 1 in the morning so now is as good of a time as ever. My father is watching some God awful reality show about swordfish this time. Seriously they could throw any fucking reality show at this guy and he'll eat it up like candy. I'd absolutely love to know what the appeal with these shows is, please somebody tell me. Do some people get off on watching people try to attain their unrealistic goals as they're exploited on TV? Or does none of that matter and people who watch it will watch any mindless dribble that they put on these channels. I'd rather watch rerun sitcoms than watch the Deadliest Catch. Fucking seriously guys you catch crabs or some shit like it. The worst that ever happens is it rains one week to the next and you have a quota to meet. And then you get people like my father who eat up every word of the commentary and think it's the most brutal, grueling experience one could ever undertake and the people who do it are crazy and if he were younger he'd do it too. It's a fucking TV show get it? They sensationalize all of this shit so you people will watch it. That's the basis of the fucking show is to make it seem as awful as possible and these men are so brave that they keep going back to do it year after year and subject the rest of their family to join. He's now watching an even worse show about some dude with a creepy pedo mustache that buys classic cars and resells them at auction. God, what an amazing basis for a TV show. Twenty two minutes of this guy being delusional saying that somebody will want his little two cylinder car with a rainbow rooftop because it's 'cute' and nobody else has one when everyone is there buying Corvettes and Porsches. And then he wants you to feel bad for him if he loses money. It's a fucking business mister, get over it. Of the hours and hours of shows he watches I think the only ones I really like are some of the cool food shows of all of the shit that I wish I could be eating. But do I care about pawn shops conning people out of money by telling them their stuff could be counterfeit, tattoo shops with an alcoholic bus driver or a whore with tattoos on her face, boats in the frozen Arctic complaining about how much clothing they have to wear, or the story about a man being reunited with his 1957 Thunderbird? Not at all. I think anyone who willingly watches this shit should be institutionalized. This is just six degrees from Real World/Road Rules but nobody gets it. ANY show that involves a conflict and then being able to cut to the guy in the conflict in a green room giving you his opinion on the situation and how he doesn't like the other person at that current time is pure fucking garbage and a ripoff of something MTV should have killed fifteen years ago. So to all of you assholes that keep pitching shows like Iceland Truckers for the sake of having a reality show to push, I wish you would promptly go pull a DJ AM and kill yourself while you're still irrelevant just like he did to save yourself the shame and embarrassment of ruining once educational channels. God what a long time ago it feels like when you'd turn on TLC or the History Channel and actually fucking learn about something. I remember when I learned how to make cabinets and learned that Kenyan women carry fruit on their heads unlike African American women who just steal fruit and hide it under their clothes.

"I Don't Have To Live In A Hospital...

...But I Won't Live Like A Nigger Either."

This is the quote that my father repeats to the point of being disgusting to every house guest he has ever had. He insists that he always lives in a clean house and can't live like those people who don't clean up after themselves. However, I am fairly confident that most black people or people with any morals at all live cleaner than him. The other night he was complaining that there were ants in his couch but none in mine or anywhere else really in the house. Of course his couch emits a horrible odor that everyone fears except for him. He just lays in his own filth for days on end and doesn't notice anything wrong. So anticipating having company tomorrow albeit for just a few minutes I figured I'd clean the house just like every other night so that he doesn't have to lift a finger but still be able to claim how much he cleans. I cleaned the dog vomit off of his couch then swept the floors after cleaning the kitchen and garage. But I figured hell I should look under his couch to see if I can get rid of any of the smell. I pulled out the couch and found uneaten rotten cherries, cigarette butts, nachos, potato chips, crackers, ants, hair and a huge lake of dried piss. I had to pour water on it just to get the mop to pick it up and then resweep and mop the floor to get all of it cleaned up. The house smells relatively good right now since he hasn't gotten home to spill food all over the house to leave it there for me the next day and then give me his passive aggressive bullshit about how I should be cleaning up after him since I don't have a job it gives me something to do. I can't wait for freedom and to be able to take responsibility for any mess in the house and say that it's mine. So I'm going to play with the cat for a while now since he reeks of awesomeness. But attached is a picture of my living room floor underneath his couch so people don't think I'm exaggerating.